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advice on what to do please re: anger and aggression

mummy of 3

hi all i have a 12yr old son who is aspergers ive really struggled this summer holiday with his anger and aggression. I have two younger children my daughter is 8 and has a serious heart condition and my youngest son is 4 who is currently on the waiting list for an autism assesment. This summer holiday my oldest has broke so many things that i cant possibly afford to replace. His anger and aggression is at the point his younger siblings are scared of him and when he has a meltdown or outburst he scares me. So far he has broke over £400 worth of stuff and when i refuse to replace the items he gets violent or aggressive how can i manage this behaviour? My neighbours are starting to complain about the noise as my son wil constantly slam doors and bang the walls ive explained to my neighbours the situation and they do try to understand but when its everyday all day alot of the time i can understand why they are getting fed up. My son has had art therapy but that hasnt worked CAMHS says he doesnt need anger management and that i just have to deal with it, im at my witts end does anyone know if there is anyone who can help as im struggling thank you

Parents

  • Hi,

    have you attended an Earlybird or Cygnet training course, they offer lots of strategies that really help.

    Try planning the trip out to avoid triggers where possible. What sorts of things cause him to have a meltdown?

    Have a plan for if a meltdown does occur, that you follow, this will ease your stress. If he does have a meltdown, keeping calm yourself will ensure he recovers quicker. Maybe work out a phrase you say when people are staring, it might be directed at them or indirect. 

    i remember S having a meltdown the first time I took him swimming, when it was time to get out. As we walked along the side in our swimming gear, he was screaming his head off and it looked like I was abducting him. I daren't let go or he'd have jumped back in/ dropped to the floor. He had no understanding of spoken language, but for the benefit  of onlookers I said, "I know you don't want to finish, but you have swum for an hour, we can come again." 

    Melly

Reply

  • Hi,

    have you attended an Earlybird or Cygnet training course, they offer lots of strategies that really help.

    Try planning the trip out to avoid triggers where possible. What sorts of things cause him to have a meltdown?

    Have a plan for if a meltdown does occur, that you follow, this will ease your stress. If he does have a meltdown, keeping calm yourself will ensure he recovers quicker. Maybe work out a phrase you say when people are staring, it might be directed at them or indirect. 

    i remember S having a meltdown the first time I took him swimming, when it was time to get out. As we walked along the side in our swimming gear, he was screaming his head off and it looked like I was abducting him. I daren't let go or he'd have jumped back in/ dropped to the floor. He had no understanding of spoken language, but for the benefit  of onlookers I said, "I know you don't want to finish, but you have swum for an hour, we can come again." 

    Melly

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