Problem at school, but can't explain...

 Hi. Hoping somebody reading this might be able to help. My daughter (A. 9yrs old, Aspie) has a problem of some description at school. I say 'a problem of some description' because, try as I might, I can't seem to find a way of getting her to find the right words to explain exactly what it is without her getting so anxious that she starts to cry. All I've managed to glean is that it's something to do with a group of children at school, and the problems getting worse (her words). She hates school now (as a result) and will find every cuss word that isn't swearing to vent just how much she hates it, or she'll cry and get herself really worked up. She's never been one to act like this about school, and I don't know what to do to help her. She's only been diagnosed for 5 months, her peer group isn't aware of her diagnosis as yet (she's hoping to tell them at some stage after this half-term with the help of the ASD outreach team). How can I help her if she wants to explain but can't? (Incidentally,(A.) saw me writing this. She wants me to tell you that it's VERY IMPORTANT). I know that she really wants to tell me and get some help, but she just can't. What should I do???

Parents
  • Hello

    I know how hard this must be for your daughter. I'm an Asperger's Syndrome sufferer myself and went through the same kind of thing at primary school, then again when I moved into secondary school.

    What I recommend you do is contact the school and ask to book an appointment with a senior member of staff (such as a Year Head or Deputy Headmaster). Ask for the Learning Support Specialist to be present at the meeting. (All schools should have one). Then sit down with your daughter and try get some names. It doesn't matter if she doesn't know them all as the school will be able to fill in the blanks with a basic description. Hopefully if the school is efficient it should be sorted within the week.

    I do feel for your daughter and wish you all the best. This may act as a good experience for when she moves to secondary school as she will know what to do if it were to happen again (like it did to me).

    Also, I think it is best if it is out in the open that your daughter has a special need. Some kids won't care but hopefully some will be more understanding and may realise what they think is a joke isn't seen as a joke by your daughter. Doing that worked for me, but every case is different.

    All the best and good luck

Reply
  • Hello

    I know how hard this must be for your daughter. I'm an Asperger's Syndrome sufferer myself and went through the same kind of thing at primary school, then again when I moved into secondary school.

    What I recommend you do is contact the school and ask to book an appointment with a senior member of staff (such as a Year Head or Deputy Headmaster). Ask for the Learning Support Specialist to be present at the meeting. (All schools should have one). Then sit down with your daughter and try get some names. It doesn't matter if she doesn't know them all as the school will be able to fill in the blanks with a basic description. Hopefully if the school is efficient it should be sorted within the week.

    I do feel for your daughter and wish you all the best. This may act as a good experience for when she moves to secondary school as she will know what to do if it were to happen again (like it did to me).

    Also, I think it is best if it is out in the open that your daughter has a special need. Some kids won't care but hopefully some will be more understanding and may realise what they think is a joke isn't seen as a joke by your daughter. Doing that worked for me, but every case is different.

    All the best and good luck

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