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Problem at school, but can't explain...

Saneasever

 Hi. Hoping somebody reading this might be able to help. My daughter (A. 9yrs old, Aspie) has a problem of some description at school. I say 'a problem of some description' because, try as I might, I can't seem to find a way of getting her to find the right words to explain exactly what it is without her getting so anxious that she starts to cry. All I've managed to glean is that it's something to do with a group of children at school, and the problems getting worse (her words). She hates school now (as a result) and will find every cuss word that isn't swearing to vent just how much she hates it, or she'll cry and get herself really worked up. She's never been one to act like this about school, and I don't know what to do to help her. She's only been diagnosed for 5 months, her peer group isn't aware of her diagnosis as yet (she's hoping to tell them at some stage after this half-term with the help of the ASD outreach team). How can I help her if she wants to explain but can't? (Incidentally,(A.) saw me writing this. She wants me to tell you that it's VERY IMPORTANT). I know that she really wants to tell me and get some help, but she just can't. What should I do???

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  • Saneasever said:

     Hi. Hoping somebody reading this might be able to help. My daughter (A. 9yrs old, Aspie) has a problem of some description at school. I say 'a problem of some description' because, try as I might, I can't seem to find a way of getting her to find the right words to explain exactly what it is without her getting so anxious that she starts to cry. All I've managed to glean is that it's something to do with a group of children at school, and the problems getting worse (her words). She hates school now (as a result) and will find every cuss word that isn't swearing to vent just how much she hates it, or she'll cry and get herself really worked up. She's never been one to act like this about school, and I don't know what to do to help her. She's only been diagnosed for 5 months, her peer group isn't aware of her diagnosis as yet (she's hoping to tell them at some stage after this half-term with the help of the ASD outreach team). How can I help her if she wants to explain but can't? (Incidentally,(A.) saw me writing this. She wants me to tell you that it's VERY IMPORTANT). I know that she really wants to tell me and get some help, but she just can't. What should I do???

    Hi Saneasever, My 10 year old Aspie son has excellent vocabulary but cannot verbalise things that are troubling him.  As with A, he really wants to tell us but gets really anxious and upset because for some reason he just cannot do it.  A further characteristic is that he can relay a story or experience that he wants us to know but can only tell it once.  If he wants it retold he says "you tell him Mum" (or Dad or whoever).  It's as if her is embarrassed saying it more than once. 

    Sorry I'm no help but await further replies with interest

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  • Saneasever said:

     Hi. Hoping somebody reading this might be able to help. My daughter (A. 9yrs old, Aspie) has a problem of some description at school. I say 'a problem of some description' because, try as I might, I can't seem to find a way of getting her to find the right words to explain exactly what it is without her getting so anxious that she starts to cry. All I've managed to glean is that it's something to do with a group of children at school, and the problems getting worse (her words). She hates school now (as a result) and will find every cuss word that isn't swearing to vent just how much she hates it, or she'll cry and get herself really worked up. She's never been one to act like this about school, and I don't know what to do to help her. She's only been diagnosed for 5 months, her peer group isn't aware of her diagnosis as yet (she's hoping to tell them at some stage after this half-term with the help of the ASD outreach team). How can I help her if she wants to explain but can't? (Incidentally,(A.) saw me writing this. She wants me to tell you that it's VERY IMPORTANT). I know that she really wants to tell me and get some help, but she just can't. What should I do???

    Hi Saneasever, My 10 year old Aspie son has excellent vocabulary but cannot verbalise things that are troubling him.  As with A, he really wants to tell us but gets really anxious and upset because for some reason he just cannot do it.  A further characteristic is that he can relay a story or experience that he wants us to know but can only tell it once.  If he wants it retold he says "you tell him Mum" (or Dad or whoever).  It's as if her is embarrassed saying it more than once. 

    Sorry I'm no help but await further replies with interest

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