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Refusing to enter school

Specs

I have a 10 year old boy (year 5) with Aspergers. He has for this past year been refusing to go in to school. On the majority of mornings I have managed to get him to school but he will not get out of the car. Up until recently a member of staff has often managed to persuade him out of the car but recently this has not worked. The school has also recently said that it is my resposibility to get him into the building which is easier said than done! Sometimes I have managed to pull him from the car and frog march him in but he is getting too big/strong to do that for much longer. Last time I did this it resulted in a very violent meltdown. I do not want to give in to him when he is refusing as I feel that he then thinks it is OK to stay at home rather than going to school. However it is getting more and more difficult to get him through the doors.

When he is in school he has his own work station and many of the lessons are adapted for him. He has visual timetables and will be talked through anything that might be different in advance. I am told that when he actually makes it into the classroom he is more or less fine. His teacher is sensitive and understanding as are many of the staff. He has a small set of friends who are all in his class. I am sure there is no bullying.

Can anyone suggest ways to get him into school, what the school could do to help, what rights do I have for asking the school to help, is manhandling him into school a good idea (i would never hurt him doing this)?

Sorry lots of questions but it is so draining and I don't really know what to do to help him. 

Parents

  • Hi,

    I have the same sort of problem. My son is 6 and in a mainstream school. Most mornings he refuses to go to school, i have had to carry him kicking and screaming some days and with a baby as well this is very difficult. the school came to collect him once and it took 2 of them to carry him into the car. Once he is there he calms down and is fine but when he gets home he gets very angry at me and calls me names. I thought the school were on board and understood the issues i was having but i then got a letter from the council saying i had to go in and have an interview under caution to explain his absences. What am i supposed to do. He runs into the roads, takes his clothes off in the streets, kicks, bites, spits and i have a baby in a buggy and no car. What more can i possibly do. When i speak to the school all they ever say is 'oh he is fine when he is here'..... yeah he might be but i then get the abuse when he gets home and its me whos being told i am a bad parent for not always getting him there. I feel completely let down by the school, council and everyone. i simply dont know what else to do.

Reply

  • Hi,

    I have the same sort of problem. My son is 6 and in a mainstream school. Most mornings he refuses to go to school, i have had to carry him kicking and screaming some days and with a baby as well this is very difficult. the school came to collect him once and it took 2 of them to carry him into the car. Once he is there he calms down and is fine but when he gets home he gets very angry at me and calls me names. I thought the school were on board and understood the issues i was having but i then got a letter from the council saying i had to go in and have an interview under caution to explain his absences. What am i supposed to do. He runs into the roads, takes his clothes off in the streets, kicks, bites, spits and i have a baby in a buggy and no car. What more can i possibly do. When i speak to the school all they ever say is 'oh he is fine when he is here'..... yeah he might be but i then get the abuse when he gets home and its me whos being told i am a bad parent for not always getting him there. I feel completely let down by the school, council and everyone. i simply dont know what else to do.

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