Refusing to enter school

I have a 10 year old boy (year 5) with Aspergers. He has for this past year been refusing to go in to school. On the majority of mornings I have managed to get him to school but he will not get out of the car. Up until recently a member of staff has often managed to persuade him out of the car but recently this has not worked. The school has also recently said that it is my resposibility to get him into the building which is easier said than done! Sometimes I have managed to pull him from the car and frog march him in but he is getting too big/strong to do that for much longer. Last time I did this it resulted in a very violent meltdown. I do not want to give in to him when he is refusing as I feel that he then thinks it is OK to stay at home rather than going to school. However it is getting more and more difficult to get him through the doors.

When he is in school he has his own work station and many of the lessons are adapted for him. He has visual timetables and will be talked through anything that might be different in advance. I am told that when he actually makes it into the classroom he is more or less fine. His teacher is sensitive and understanding as are many of the staff. He has a small set of friends who are all in his class. I am sure there is no bullying.

Can anyone suggest ways to get him into school, what the school could do to help, what rights do I have for asking the school to help, is manhandling him into school a good idea (i would never hurt him doing this)?

Sorry lots of questions but it is so draining and I don't really know what to do to help him. 

Parents
  • Former Member
    Former Member

    Manhandling him is not a good idea! This will just lead to increased resistance and it also won't deal with whatever issues he actually has with being at school. I think he needs to have a sensible discussion with someone that understands autism that can tease out of him his reasons for this reluctance. Perhaps this should be an independent person rather than school or parents?

    Autism can turn into a couple of problematic issues: Oppositional Defiant Disorder en.wikipedia.org/.../Oppositional_defiant_disorder and Pathological Demand Avoidance www.autism.org.uk/.../pda.aspx . These will stem from people being so uncomfortable with situations that they become phobic or anxious about some situations or environments. It seems to me that he is on a path that could lead to worse problems and he needs to be treated with more sympathy and understanding rather than force.

    I think you need professional help with this situation - is he being helped through CAMHS or his GP?

Reply
  • Former Member
    Former Member

    Manhandling him is not a good idea! This will just lead to increased resistance and it also won't deal with whatever issues he actually has with being at school. I think he needs to have a sensible discussion with someone that understands autism that can tease out of him his reasons for this reluctance. Perhaps this should be an independent person rather than school or parents?

    Autism can turn into a couple of problematic issues: Oppositional Defiant Disorder en.wikipedia.org/.../Oppositional_defiant_disorder and Pathological Demand Avoidance www.autism.org.uk/.../pda.aspx . These will stem from people being so uncomfortable with situations that they become phobic or anxious about some situations or environments. It seems to me that he is on a path that could lead to worse problems and he needs to be treated with more sympathy and understanding rather than force.

    I think you need professional help with this situation - is he being helped through CAMHS or his GP?

Children
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