Could my son have a form of Austim?

Thank you recombinantsocks, I will 100% be looking into all of this now as it makes a lot of sense and I've always been one to want to know absolutely everything anyway.

If it turns out both my son and myself have aspergers/autism then maybe it will open new doors for us, my main concern is getting my son sorted but I'm really surprised that he could have got it from me but at the same time it makes a lot of sense now.

My husband took the test today and scored a 22 which said he has slightly above average autistic characteristics, both my parents also did it just to for the die of it, my dad scored low but my mother scored the same as me, 33. 

Hi Pixiefox, thank you so much I read through the article and I'm shocked at how much I relate to it all. All my life I have been a bit of an oddball, one of the hardest things that I still face is having trouble fitting in yet it seems so easy to everybody around me. 

I'm seeing my doctor for my son soon and will be mentioning all of this for him and also the bits about myself too as I'm amazed at how it seems to make so much sense, it would explain a lot. 

Hi Nymeria and welcome to the forum 

I'm a female with aspergers who only found this out recently (in middle age). I found this website which lists the usual traits of Aspie females:

taniaannmarshall.wordpress.com/.../

I found it reassuring to discover that my "difference" is just the way I was born and I've been able to understand myself better and not be so hard on myself if I can't cope with certain situations. I also know now that it is the source of my strengths too.

Yes I am still with my partner, he is very helpful at calming me down as I do have some difficulties at times but but I've always put it down to ocd/anxiety & depression and never even considered anything else, when my husband first saw certain quirks I have he joked that I'm very weird but he has always been there for me, the only thing that does put a little strain on our relationship is my lack of affection, im not one for physical contact but again that's something that I've never seen as out of the ordinary I just prefer being in my own bubble so to speak. 

I'm fine most days, I can easily become overwhelmed at times, I just push myself through it and have figured out methods to calm myself down but like I said I always put it down to my anxiety as Ive suffered with it through the majority of my life and once I got out of my teens I started to gain more control over it. 

When I first started to notice things about my son it was only after my own parents had mentioned their concerns before that I always just said he is like me but since doing research into it and paying closer attention to his behaviour it definitely started to seem he was quite different from his peers but not in a bad way.

My main concern for him is school, if he is on the spectrum then I feel the sooner we can get a diagnosis the better just so he can have the right support he needs in school as compared to children his age he is still very much a baby with how he acts and requires a lot of patience especially when he becomes overwhelmed, his nursery teachers were at a bit of a loss when he was having a bad day a nursery he just kept becoming quite hysterical but I had discussed all my own thoughts with them though and they managed to calm him down every time, they are also monitoring him themselves and keeping me updated with his behaviour, I was little sad to be told that some of the children are already unsure on how to handle him but he is so happy by himself Im sure he doesn't even notice. 

I will definitely do all that, thank you so much I was getting so worried that I might have been overthinking or that I won't be taken seriously but I feel a lot better knowing that it is a possibility and can only wait and see where his gp appointment leads now and will discuss everything with them, I've read it can be quite a long process and there catechising lists etc but he doesn't start school until next September so hopefully I will at least know more by then. 

Anxiety and depression are very common if you don't know that you are autistic. This works in several ways but you might find that understanding your own autistic traits might be the key to getting away from those problems. If you are being treated for A&D then it may be worth you getting diagnosed for autism too.

I am pleased and relieved that you are still together, some people get very upset with my suggestions but sometimes my hunches are on the right lines and I think that you could really benefit from understanding this more - you can see how it isn't a catastrophe, as you have survived without knowing your traits, but your son can only benefit from people working with his nature rather than trying to beat it out of him.

School is the immediate problem but he will find how the lifelong anture of this thing may (or may not) cause issues at any point in his life.

It is worth saying at this point that girls present differently to boys and the majority of diagnoses are male and some of that is because female nature often counteracts the autistic tendencies but males (e.g. me) are less able to cope. There are books about the problems of being a female with autism that you might enjoy - it isn't all bad news by any means.

A score of 33 is far enough from normal to show a "strong likelihood" according to that site. Autism affects people differently and people are brought up in different environments so people can manage or struggle depending on lots of things that the score can't tell you about. I managed for 56 years before I needed a diagnosis (I score about 40 on the test), I have 3 university degrees, am married with two grown up children, and have worked almost continuously but in the end the accumulation of life and finding myself in a bad work environment resulted in me needing some help. It sounds as though you have managed so far and you may well have managed without diagnosis all of your life depending on what life throws at you. Dare I ask whether you are still with your partner? Relationships often break down if the person is not aware of their traits - we can be difficult to understand and harder to live with than non-autistic people. If you have a diagnosis then it can become easier as there are books and websites like this to help understand what the condition means.

Your son has probably inherited the autism genes but each person ends up different to their parent and may be more or less affected depending on the throw of the genetic dice. He sounds more affected but that does not necessarily require a diagnosis - it depends whether he needs a diagnosis or at least whether he would benefit from diagnosis. His sister may have ingherited the genes too but may not need a diagnosis but is likely to benefit from knowing that she is on the spectrum. I would suggest that you take your description above and present that to the doctor and say that you have taken the test (it is actually highly respected as it comes from Cambridge university and is often taken seriously by GPs).

Diagnosis brings insight and lots of information and it definitely makes the future much brighter.

Hi and thank you so much for your reply.

I haven't been able to speak to anyone regarding my son properly yet so it is good to know that I'm not possibly over thinking things and that there could be more to him as some people seem to just say it's his age but then they don't live with him and have only had a short amount of time around him. I've written everything down ready for his doctors appointment now so I will see where that leads us.

I took the test myself and scored a 33, supposedly that could be a indicator of ASD. I know I have my quirks but I've honestly never even considered that about myself before, would it be worth mentioning at my sons gp appointment? 

Thanks again, 

There are quite a few things in your post that are consistent with autism. Hypersensitivity to noise is common with autism and his eye contact, and inappropriate communication behaviours are indicators. Obviously no-one on the forum can make anything like a diagnosis but we can agree that it sounds plausible and worth further investigation.

Autism is frequently inherited from one or both parents and it may be worth checking both parents with the free test at aspergerstest.net/.../ This may help confirm or deny your suspicions but may also give more insight into your own behaviours.