• Replies 4 replies
  • Subscribers 65 subscribers
  • Views 587 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

Son put in isolation for the day, advice please.

Sammy1980

Hi my son has high functioning aspergers and attends a local sixth form studying A levels.

The school/sixth form are really strict on mobiles on the site, they aren't allowed out in non sixth form areas, well my son went in that morning dressed in shorts even though I said it was too cold, not long after dropping him off I got a phone call from him asking for jeans to be dropped off, probably sounds familiar to you all.

I waited outside and was trying to ring him because there was no sign of him, he looked at his phone in an area that he wasnt allowed, he was flustered trying to get to me as quick as possible between lessons.  A teacher saw him and started shouting at him in front of everyone and my son kept repeating i've put it away, i've got to go my mum is waiting.  This wasn't good enough for the teacher and he then made my son stand against the wall humiliating him, the teacher wouldn't let him talk so he walked off, the man was shouting in front of everyone to come back, other teachers came rushing towards him, he felt totally overwhelmed.  When I saw him I could see the panic on his face and he said im in so much trouble and went back inside to say sorry to the teacher.  He was so focused on getting to me and doing what I told him to do he couldn't comply with the teacher, he will always follow what I say over everyone.  I rang the school straight away and said he had his phone because I was ringing it while I was waiting outside.

They want to stick him in isolation for the day on a red warning for disobedience, it really wasn't the case and there have been no other issues like this before.  How can I explain to them that it was his aspergers, he wasn't being naughty.  He broke down after school, he never cries, he didn't know what to do :(

I would love some tips on what to say to the school in the morning because I don't feel he should be punished that harshly.

  • i would get straight on it and ensure the school has proper provisions in place for yr son,are they aware he is asperhers?our son is 16 and aspergers and although his school was supposedly one of the best they treated him and us appallinglingly,they led us to believe they were giving him extra help etc whilst in school and we had meetings every two weeks with us his mental health worker and a teacher from school always being told yes yes we re doing this and that however one week before xmas break we were told we had two days to decide whether to take him off role and he would be allowed to pick some of his gcses to do they would pay give him revision stuff etc but he did it at home or he had to attend practically everyday which they knew was impossible due to his eating probs he was too exhausted he got so stressed by them he started hearing things,they let him pick three gcses he had 6 months till exams receiving one revision book he came out with three As,they said they could do nothing with him since then hes struggled in college etc as scared will happen sgain,,,so please dont have yr son go through the same ask to see the senco explain his high needs and ask what they can do to provide these needs to support him when hes in school,make sure u contact someone in education to explain as they just cant do this good luck xgo to the headyeacher if needs be and take any evidence u have with uxx

  • Former Member
    Former Member

    Every situation like this is an opportunity for people to make choices.

    You can choose to turn this into more of a problem than it is.

    You can choose to encourage your son to learn from the situation and ignore the punishment. There is actually a funny side to this - the idea of putting someone with autism into isolation is extremely paradoxical. He might prefer isolation rather than being forced to be social? If he can rise above it and invoke a birdman from alcatraz style attitude then isn't that the best outcome? Schoolkids may also gain some street cred for being given detention. It is not a lasting mark on his record that anyone outside school will ever be aware of. many respectable people have had far worse punishment (e.g. Stephen Fry was detained for various misdemeanors in a young offenders institute if I remember correctly, no-one holds it against him and he tells this as a story in his autobiography)

    There is a positive benefit from him being in a school where discipline is maintained. People with autism are likely to do better in that environment than in a "modern" liberal environment where there is more of a free for all.

    The idea that discipline requires punishment is the idea that needs to be challenged. Discipline requires sanctions and it needs to be seen to be fair and consistent but it does not have to involve punishment.

  • I did and they said he is a mainstream school so needs to be punished, totally inflexible, I was totally disgusted, they had no understanding of high functioning aspergers and its considered a good school.  I am getting advice and writing to the chair of governors.

  • Former Member
    Former Member

    I think it would be best to go and talk to the head. Make a proper appointment and explain what happened and ask how they think you and your son should proceed. Ask them what provision they have for people with special needs.

    You might consult IPSEA for further advice. They ought to be able to advise on what rights and responsibilities you and the school have in situations like this. https://www.ipsea.org.uk/