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can't win - need to let off steam

honeymonster

like the title says really, my son seems to be increasingly hard to communiucate with , without him blowing up into a mad emotional volcanco.

he seems to be stuck on a 'you're moaning' ,'you're shouting' im not happy' tearer mode...

he/we are in this cycle where he says he avoids me by doing his own thing - yet he always has done his own project thing as you can't  get him away from it[ well with extreme difficulty]

yet at he same time tells me its because i moan !!!! at him all the time - unfortunatley he doesnt hear the general chat;questions etc ...only the point wher ei am frustrated.

school isnt helping as i have just found out that they havent initiated any action plus programme nor got any statement done for him[take in mind i had a discussion on the 8th september about this with the sen teacher] - hence why i want him to change schools because they are c###

he was told by the teaching assistant his self harming has nothing to do with autism -every body is responsible for their actions'!!!!!!!!!!

i tell ya if i heard i wouldnt have been responsible for my actions...........any way i will cut the rant out or else i will use or your web space 

thanks for listening guys

Parents

  • Quote: "school isnt helping as i have just found out that they havent initiated any action plus programme nor got any statement done for him[take in mind i had a discussion on the 8th september about this with the sen teacher] - hence why i want him to change schools because they are c###"

    he was told by the teaching assistant his self harming has nothing to do with autism -every body is responsible for their actions'!!!!!!!!!!"

    ........



    Not having an action plan is a real problem.

    I think that the problem with schools is that teachers and assistants do not really understand autism or your child’s personal problems and that they form their own ideas (often well meaning) about how to teach/deal with or even cure a child . When my son was little I had a lot of problems with a teacher who was trying to force eye contact even though she knew my son was listening to her – he could always answer her questions. We were lucky in that my child’s psychiatrist wrote to the school and asked for a meeting. He got us all together and told the school in no uncertain terms that they had not to place too much reliance on body language.  He was very clear about how my son should be managed and put a stop to people using their own methods or having their own ideas.

    If you think that the assistant is going about thing in her own way or openly voicing her own opinions you need to discuss this with the school and insist that everyone sticks to the same plan.  To be honest I would advise everyone to get their child to a psychiatrist. Inexperienced, untrained people are often more of a problem than a help.  Just my own opinion, of course, but I don’t know what I would have done without this psychiatrist. He really did force the primary school to work in a consistent manner.


Reply

  • Quote: "school isnt helping as i have just found out that they havent initiated any action plus programme nor got any statement done for him[take in mind i had a discussion on the 8th september about this with the sen teacher] - hence why i want him to change schools because they are c###"

    he was told by the teaching assistant his self harming has nothing to do with autism -every body is responsible for their actions'!!!!!!!!!!"

    ........



    Not having an action plan is a real problem.

    I think that the problem with schools is that teachers and assistants do not really understand autism or your child’s personal problems and that they form their own ideas (often well meaning) about how to teach/deal with or even cure a child . When my son was little I had a lot of problems with a teacher who was trying to force eye contact even though she knew my son was listening to her – he could always answer her questions. We were lucky in that my child’s psychiatrist wrote to the school and asked for a meeting. He got us all together and told the school in no uncertain terms that they had not to place too much reliance on body language.  He was very clear about how my son should be managed and put a stop to people using their own methods or having their own ideas.

    If you think that the assistant is going about thing in her own way or openly voicing her own opinions you need to discuss this with the school and insist that everyone sticks to the same plan.  To be honest I would advise everyone to get their child to a psychiatrist. Inexperienced, untrained people are often more of a problem than a help.  Just my own opinion, of course, but I don’t know what I would have done without this psychiatrist. He really did force the primary school to work in a consistent manner.


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