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Worried about autistic brother's meltdowns

JustJessica

Hi, my younger brother has autism and recently he's been getting increasingly violent. He's eleven, our parent's are divorced. Mum left about 5 years ago, so it's just me my Dad and brother. We do visit her, but really just for birthdays/Christmas, she lives quite far away.

Anyway, the other day Dad told my brother (no, he YELLED at him) never to answer the phone since it'll be someone selling things which, of course, he took very literally and now hangs up on everyone without letting them speak first. This is bad as I'm waiting on a job offer and last thing I want is him hanging up on them. While Dad was out I tried to calmly explain to him why he shouldn't do that but he must have gotten confused and it escalated into a meltdown with him punching, pulling my hair, yelling curses and pulling a kitchen knife on me. This is about the 3rd/4th time he's threatened me/Dad at knifepoint. I couldn't help it, I just started crying, I don't know what to do, how to communicate with him. He's already practically my height, and he hasn't even hit puberty yet, god knows what might happen when he's my age (I'm eighteen.) I just...idk, I need to get through to him somehow. Especially before I go off to Uni, Dad's even worse with him than I am, so when I'm off and away anything could happen, honestly I'm so worried. What should I do?

Parents

  • Hi! Thanks for replying, don't know loads I'll be honest. My parents used to have counselling meetings to talk about his issues/how to deal with them but they haven't really been going much anymore. 

    Here's what I know:

    • He has problems socialising and expressing his emotions, this gets him frustrated when other people don't understand what he wants/needs.
    • He hates to feel ignored or belittled, and does NOT forgive and forget. Ever. Really, he holds some serious grudges.
    • He has a bit of a history of turning aggressive when he's upset but it hasn't been this bad in years since he's been seeing a counsellor and during school has his own TA and 'cool down' room. I don't know if I could call the cops on my own brother though...it's tricky, but you're right this isn't normal. After today's brawl in the kitchen I contacted one of his counsellors about getting him more treatment, hopefully she'll get back soon.

    You wouldn't happen to have any other ideas about what I could do for now, beside police? If he does it again I'll do it, but really I'd like to think of that as a last resort. I know for a fact my Dad would never support that, Mum probably wouldn't either.

    No-one really talked to me about his condition, I guess cause I was still just a little kid when he was diagnosed, so I've got no clue how to get him to calm down when he gets like that. Like I said, we're practically the same height and I'm an utter wimp so-erm-physical altercations don't tend to go well.

    Any advise/input much appreciated

Reply

  • Hi! Thanks for replying, don't know loads I'll be honest. My parents used to have counselling meetings to talk about his issues/how to deal with them but they haven't really been going much anymore. 

    Here's what I know:

    • He has problems socialising and expressing his emotions, this gets him frustrated when other people don't understand what he wants/needs.
    • He hates to feel ignored or belittled, and does NOT forgive and forget. Ever. Really, he holds some serious grudges.
    • He has a bit of a history of turning aggressive when he's upset but it hasn't been this bad in years since he's been seeing a counsellor and during school has his own TA and 'cool down' room. I don't know if I could call the cops on my own brother though...it's tricky, but you're right this isn't normal. After today's brawl in the kitchen I contacted one of his counsellors about getting him more treatment, hopefully she'll get back soon.

    You wouldn't happen to have any other ideas about what I could do for now, beside police? If he does it again I'll do it, but really I'd like to think of that as a last resort. I know for a fact my Dad would never support that, Mum probably wouldn't either.

    No-one really talked to me about his condition, I guess cause I was still just a little kid when he was diagnosed, so I've got no clue how to get him to calm down when he gets like that. Like I said, we're practically the same height and I'm an utter wimp so-erm-physical altercations don't tend to go well.

    Any advise/input much appreciated

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