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Stealing and lying and teenage boys

Pinketyponk

Hello..... Wondered if you could help...... Here's A quick background....

asd son, 16, non attender to education as found transition from school to college too tricky, we are in the process of applying for an ehcp for him to get more support  - looks like a matter of weeks should see us there..... 

Teenage son and FIFA on the Xbox.
It began a couple of years ago when son realised he could buy FIFA coins via MY paypal account which was linked to my credit card.
I knew nothing about it until I was contacted by the fraud squad because of unusual activity on my account. Goes without saying i was mortified.
Several hundred pounds that one cost me.
Parents

  • Have you ever discussed banking. 

    Without the pretext of fifa and the paypal situation. 

    Talk about banking and the idea of him managing his own pocket money/allowance

    Explain how deposits and withdrawals work, 

    And also what credit is and how interest and charges get added for various reasons. 

    Keep it simple, I would recommend with diagrams and mock statements to give the information in various forms. 

    After a few weeks I would then set up an account and deposit an agreed amount or percentage of his pocket money. 

    Remove your paypal from the XBox and set his card up on there for games and in game DCs purchasing. Once his bank is empty he cant purchase any more and he can learn to save with the banking app or choose not to. But buying the next new release may require some saving up for. 

    Instead of pointing out the theft, and making him feel guilty it may be a better approach to allow him to work out himself how he would feel if he had interest or charges or even someone else remove money from his account he thought he had available and give him a better chance of understanding. Taking his money or doing it in a how do you feel if I do it to you is definitely not what I am suggesting though it more of a step towards independence, understanding money and ownership of it. 

    Hope that helps. 

    Kind regards Rebecca 

Reply

  • Have you ever discussed banking. 

    Without the pretext of fifa and the paypal situation. 

    Talk about banking and the idea of him managing his own pocket money/allowance

    Explain how deposits and withdrawals work, 

    And also what credit is and how interest and charges get added for various reasons. 

    Keep it simple, I would recommend with diagrams and mock statements to give the information in various forms. 

    After a few weeks I would then set up an account and deposit an agreed amount or percentage of his pocket money. 

    Remove your paypal from the XBox and set his card up on there for games and in game DCs purchasing. Once his bank is empty he cant purchase any more and he can learn to save with the banking app or choose not to. But buying the next new release may require some saving up for. 

    Instead of pointing out the theft, and making him feel guilty it may be a better approach to allow him to work out himself how he would feel if he had interest or charges or even someone else remove money from his account he thought he had available and give him a better chance of understanding. Taking his money or doing it in a how do you feel if I do it to you is definitely not what I am suggesting though it more of a step towards independence, understanding money and ownership of it. 

    Hope that helps. 

    Kind regards Rebecca 

Children
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