Teenage daughter

My teenage daughter is being difficult.  Out of pure hostility she has emptied cleaning fluids on the floor, and toy beads over the stairs and has emptied shaving foam all over the bathroom door.  She won't clean up.  We, her parents, are powerless in that regard.  Now she has put her coat on and gone out.  Normally she's a house-body and hardly ever goes out.  Because it's in the middle of the day, I'm not worried.  I believe that she'll come back when things start getting difficult/scary - she doesn't like the dark.  She gives us the silent treatment, so it's hard to communicate with her.  If anybody has been through this kind of behaviour, I would appreciate any advice.  Unless you have, you couldn't understand how awful it is to have a teenager that is miserable most of the time, and so unreasonable.

Parents
  • Thanks Carly.  I've got an appointment in 2 weeks time.  I'm new to the work of help- agencies, so I don't know what to expect.  The idea is to try to help my daughter communicate with us, but perhaps also for her to understand why she's angry.  Things were actually getting better till yesterday.  For no discrernable reason my daughter got angry for be taking her to an autistic youth club night (they only happen once a month and it was her first time there.)  She went with a friend of hers who she rarely sees (because the friend, who is also autistic lives far away).  I tried to make it a really nice time for them both, and they were really happy.  At 11pm (which is later than she ever goes out) we left the place, and she said that she had not wanted to be there in the first place (she said that she had told me this, but it isn't true.)  And her friend had really liked being there (and wanted to go again.)  The friend told us this morning that my daughter couldn't explain to the friend why my daughter was angry.  The friend said that she couldn't understand it either.  Since then my daughter has remained in her hostile state- she's unapproachable and it will only lead to an escalation if I do.  It's obvious that she's unhappy but I don't have a clue what to do.  Doing nothing for the time being is the safest bet.  And like you said Carly S, one day at a time. Thanks for your reply (this has been going on, on and off for a few months now, but I hope that it is a phase that will pass too).

Reply
  • Thanks Carly.  I've got an appointment in 2 weeks time.  I'm new to the work of help- agencies, so I don't know what to expect.  The idea is to try to help my daughter communicate with us, but perhaps also for her to understand why she's angry.  Things were actually getting better till yesterday.  For no discrernable reason my daughter got angry for be taking her to an autistic youth club night (they only happen once a month and it was her first time there.)  She went with a friend of hers who she rarely sees (because the friend, who is also autistic lives far away).  I tried to make it a really nice time for them both, and they were really happy.  At 11pm (which is later than she ever goes out) we left the place, and she said that she had not wanted to be there in the first place (she said that she had told me this, but it isn't true.)  And her friend had really liked being there (and wanted to go again.)  The friend told us this morning that my daughter couldn't explain to the friend why my daughter was angry.  The friend said that she couldn't understand it either.  Since then my daughter has remained in her hostile state- she's unapproachable and it will only lead to an escalation if I do.  It's obvious that she's unhappy but I don't have a clue what to do.  Doing nothing for the time being is the safest bet.  And like you said Carly S, one day at a time. Thanks for your reply (this has been going on, on and off for a few months now, but I hope that it is a phase that will pass too).

Children
No Data