Teenage daughter

My teenage daughter is being difficult.  Out of pure hostility she has emptied cleaning fluids on the floor, and toy beads over the stairs and has emptied shaving foam all over the bathroom door.  She won't clean up.  We, her parents, are powerless in that regard.  Now she has put her coat on and gone out.  Normally she's a house-body and hardly ever goes out.  Because it's in the middle of the day, I'm not worried.  I believe that she'll come back when things start getting difficult/scary - she doesn't like the dark.  She gives us the silent treatment, so it's hard to communicate with her.  If anybody has been through this kind of behaviour, I would appreciate any advice.  Unless you have, you couldn't understand how awful it is to have a teenager that is miserable most of the time, and so unreasonable.

Parents
  • I can understand your stress, I am in a similar situation.  

    I have a different take on this, maybe not the most popular one but I'm taking the long view...  The school have to make 'reasonable adjustments' and if at the moment my child is late into school or misses a day now and again, in the scheme of things, if that's what's necessary to cope, does it matter?  I know the huge stress my child is under and the worst thing the school says is 'you have to live in the real world, you have to fit in, etc.'.  That induces massive anxiety, I wish they wouldn't say it!   You see we all live in the real world but we can choose which bits of it we interact with.  Avoid the bits which cause stress...

    Autistic people can be found concentrated in certain kinds of jobs, of course this is a generalisation, but there is truth in it, but they're in those jobs because that's where they feel comfortable.  So when the school is on my back about PE, and why won't my child do it?  I honestly think, care factor zero, it's pretty useless, it's loathed by my child and the school only care becaue of the charts and tables they have to submit for attendance.  I try and look at the big picture...  I try to make things as easy as I can because just going to school is a huge task...

    And I know what you mean about it using up all your time.  I feel like my whole life is consumed by my children, it's exhausting, but they need me...  

    Big hugs, you'll get through this, deep breath... xox

Reply
  • I can understand your stress, I am in a similar situation.  

    I have a different take on this, maybe not the most popular one but I'm taking the long view...  The school have to make 'reasonable adjustments' and if at the moment my child is late into school or misses a day now and again, in the scheme of things, if that's what's necessary to cope, does it matter?  I know the huge stress my child is under and the worst thing the school says is 'you have to live in the real world, you have to fit in, etc.'.  That induces massive anxiety, I wish they wouldn't say it!   You see we all live in the real world but we can choose which bits of it we interact with.  Avoid the bits which cause stress...

    Autistic people can be found concentrated in certain kinds of jobs, of course this is a generalisation, but there is truth in it, but they're in those jobs because that's where they feel comfortable.  So when the school is on my back about PE, and why won't my child do it?  I honestly think, care factor zero, it's pretty useless, it's loathed by my child and the school only care becaue of the charts and tables they have to submit for attendance.  I try and look at the big picture...  I try to make things as easy as I can because just going to school is a huge task...

    And I know what you mean about it using up all your time.  I feel like my whole life is consumed by my children, it's exhausting, but they need me...  

    Big hugs, you'll get through this, deep breath... xox

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