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Teenage daughter

JenniferTree

My teenage daughter is being difficult.  Out of pure hostility she has emptied cleaning fluids on the floor, and toy beads over the stairs and has emptied shaving foam all over the bathroom door.  She won't clean up.  We, her parents, are powerless in that regard.  Now she has put her coat on and gone out.  Normally she's a house-body and hardly ever goes out.  Because it's in the middle of the day, I'm not worried.  I believe that she'll come back when things start getting difficult/scary - she doesn't like the dark.  She gives us the silent treatment, so it's hard to communicate with her.  If anybody has been through this kind of behaviour, I would appreciate any advice.  Unless you have, you couldn't understand how awful it is to have a teenager that is miserable most of the time, and so unreasonable.

Parents

  • Only one point to add which not be liked i know.

    For someone who is struggling very much so it is possible that they can write a poem in meter.  That could be their one outlet.  They could have a natural talent for rhythm.  It don't matter how dark they are feeling it, they can draw on that one thing. She mayn't even know the Meter fits perfectly. Just comes out with it. It possible to actually do that.  Have you seen any other poems to know how she works in this way?  But even then if this is her one focus. Use it in a positive way not to be against her but to get her on side so she knows she can trust you.  Find a poem you like and share it with her. Say nothing about her behaviour. Just simply share it with her.

    I think you may need to build up some kind of trust thing with her to reach her and poetry can be used. But carefully or she may be put off. I know it hurts to think you try your best and you just get kicks back.  She really could be hurting in side and could feel so isolated and lonely if she is thinking no one believes her.  She can't tell you or anyone what happening as has no concept to be able to say so with.

    Internet is very good but I think you need someone close by who you can trust too. Not to discpline the daughter for you. But where you can off load and may be look at things in another way. I can't say anything on parenting as not a parent. But know how it feels when people don't believe what I am saying.  I am ASD spectrum too.

    I know you have a responsibility to see her attend school. It sounds like school is working with you to help work it out? There be bad bits.  But she no doubt is hurting right now and may be just need to find some way to reach out to her on common ground. 

Reply

  • Only one point to add which not be liked i know.

    For someone who is struggling very much so it is possible that they can write a poem in meter.  That could be their one outlet.  They could have a natural talent for rhythm.  It don't matter how dark they are feeling it, they can draw on that one thing. She mayn't even know the Meter fits perfectly. Just comes out with it. It possible to actually do that.  Have you seen any other poems to know how she works in this way?  But even then if this is her one focus. Use it in a positive way not to be against her but to get her on side so she knows she can trust you.  Find a poem you like and share it with her. Say nothing about her behaviour. Just simply share it with her.

    I think you may need to build up some kind of trust thing with her to reach her and poetry can be used. But carefully or she may be put off. I know it hurts to think you try your best and you just get kicks back.  She really could be hurting in side and could feel so isolated and lonely if she is thinking no one believes her.  She can't tell you or anyone what happening as has no concept to be able to say so with.

    Internet is very good but I think you need someone close by who you can trust too. Not to discpline the daughter for you. But where you can off load and may be look at things in another way. I can't say anything on parenting as not a parent. But know how it feels when people don't believe what I am saying.  I am ASD spectrum too.

    I know you have a responsibility to see her attend school. It sounds like school is working with you to help work it out? There be bad bits.  But she no doubt is hurting right now and may be just need to find some way to reach out to her on common ground. 

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