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Teenage daughter

JenniferTree

My teenage daughter is being difficult.  Out of pure hostility she has emptied cleaning fluids on the floor, and toy beads over the stairs and has emptied shaving foam all over the bathroom door.  She won't clean up.  We, her parents, are powerless in that regard.  Now she has put her coat on and gone out.  Normally she's a house-body and hardly ever goes out.  Because it's in the middle of the day, I'm not worried.  I believe that she'll come back when things start getting difficult/scary - she doesn't like the dark.  She gives us the silent treatment, so it's hard to communicate with her.  If anybody has been through this kind of behaviour, I would appreciate any advice.  Unless you have, you couldn't understand how awful it is to have a teenager that is miserable most of the time, and so unreasonable.

Parents

  • Thank you very much for your reply. I can tell from your reply that not only do you understand the situation, but that you are (despite your autism) quite emotionally intelligent. I wish I knew who I could talk to (without airing our dirty laundry in public).On the one hand I feel trapped, but on the other hand motherhood is a privelege.I devote a lot of time to the children. (I struggle with the household- things get done, but our home isn't one of those lovely tidy ones). It's interesting what you said about choice, because I have always thought (in a Marxist sort of way) to each according to their needs, by each according to their ability.I knew that I was facilitating his ability to have a normal life (we have been married more than 16 years) and I was happy to do it because having a happy family is a worthy thing (helping children on their way to independance, trying to allow them to achieve their full potential. But my husbands behaviour in parenting matters just makes things worse (especially now that we've got this thing happening with the eldest.) Thank you very much for replying. I do have choices, but I don't have a clue what to do yet (Which means that I'll do nothing, try to get rest whenever I can, and wait till things crystalize). It occurs to me that if you have achieved the level of insight that you have, perhaps it's also possible for my husband to achieve this too, but he has to choose to. 

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  • Thank you very much for your reply. I can tell from your reply that not only do you understand the situation, but that you are (despite your autism) quite emotionally intelligent. I wish I knew who I could talk to (without airing our dirty laundry in public).On the one hand I feel trapped, but on the other hand motherhood is a privelege.I devote a lot of time to the children. (I struggle with the household- things get done, but our home isn't one of those lovely tidy ones). It's interesting what you said about choice, because I have always thought (in a Marxist sort of way) to each according to their needs, by each according to their ability.I knew that I was facilitating his ability to have a normal life (we have been married more than 16 years) and I was happy to do it because having a happy family is a worthy thing (helping children on their way to independance, trying to allow them to achieve their full potential. But my husbands behaviour in parenting matters just makes things worse (especially now that we've got this thing happening with the eldest.) Thank you very much for replying. I do have choices, but I don't have a clue what to do yet (Which means that I'll do nothing, try to get rest whenever I can, and wait till things crystalize). It occurs to me that if you have achieved the level of insight that you have, perhaps it's also possible for my husband to achieve this too, but he has to choose to. 

Children
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