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Will special school make my son resent me later?

ProudMummy1510

Hi,

I have a 6 year old ASD son who up until now has been in mainstream with a support worker (via a statement).

Before starting school my preference was for special school but due to funding and the fact that my son is academically bright, I was pressurised into at least trying mainstream.

We're now in Y1 and things have taken a turn for the worse. He's struggling with some of the less tangible concepts and the pressure of learning is making him tearful. He's also been complaining about the noise. 

The school have been great but as a mainstream setting, there's only so much they can do. They think he won't be able to manage mainstream for more than another year or so at most, given his current difficulties.

I'm so torn about what to do. His classmates are really accepting and understanding and although he doesn't really understand friendship or playing with other children yet, he loves being in their company and just running around the playground with them. He's also bonded with his support worker. 

His diagnosis wasn't Aspergers so he doesn't seem to have the insight or awareness that goes along with that form of ASD, but obviously the future is very much a blank canvas. I don't know what he will ultimately be capable of, or how independent he will be.

Ironically, after really wanting to go to special school, I'm now worried about robbing him of the opportunity to experience a "normal" schooling and with all that entails.

Can anyone here give me any insights on how their older child felt about going to a special school, or whether any individuals who went through it themselves could let me know their thoughts? I appreciate everyone is different :)

Thanks

Parents

  • I'm not sure if this will help, but our son (now 29) went through his education within special needs schools - it is importtant to fin dteh right one and you will find that many have links with mainstream schools for various subjects and teh individuals capability, so you could get teh best of both worlds as our son did.

    Maybe also you could consider supplementing any special scooling with activities that will bring your child into contact with the 'mainstream' community. Again we engaged with an inclusive acting group where everyone mixed together and aspects of work experience could be experienced.

    It is a balnace that is needed, but we found if you getthat balanc eright an dyou an dthe special needs school work together, you will find that your child is both supported as approriate but also challenged where possible so they feel fulfilled.

    Happy to give further examples if this helps

    Best regards

Reply

  • I'm not sure if this will help, but our son (now 29) went through his education within special needs schools - it is importtant to fin dteh right one and you will find that many have links with mainstream schools for various subjects and teh individuals capability, so you could get teh best of both worlds as our son did.

    Maybe also you could consider supplementing any special scooling with activities that will bring your child into contact with the 'mainstream' community. Again we engaged with an inclusive acting group where everyone mixed together and aspects of work experience could be experienced.

    It is a balnace that is needed, but we found if you getthat balanc eright an dyou an dthe special needs school work together, you will find that your child is both supported as approriate but also challenged where possible so they feel fulfilled.

    Happy to give further examples if this helps

    Best regards

Children
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