• Replies 11 replies
  • Subscribers 65 subscribers
  • Views 2658 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

Will special school make my son resent me later?

ProudMummy1510

Hi,

I have a 6 year old ASD son who up until now has been in mainstream with a support worker (via a statement).

Before starting school my preference was for special school but due to funding and the fact that my son is academically bright, I was pressurised into at least trying mainstream.

We're now in Y1 and things have taken a turn for the worse. He's struggling with some of the less tangible concepts and the pressure of learning is making him tearful. He's also been complaining about the noise. 

The school have been great but as a mainstream setting, there's only so much they can do. They think he won't be able to manage mainstream for more than another year or so at most, given his current difficulties.

I'm so torn about what to do. His classmates are really accepting and understanding and although he doesn't really understand friendship or playing with other children yet, he loves being in their company and just running around the playground with them. He's also bonded with his support worker. 

His diagnosis wasn't Aspergers so he doesn't seem to have the insight or awareness that goes along with that form of ASD, but obviously the future is very much a blank canvas. I don't know what he will ultimately be capable of, or how independent he will be.

Ironically, after really wanting to go to special school, I'm now worried about robbing him of the opportunity to experience a "normal" schooling and with all that entails.

Can anyone here give me any insights on how their older child felt about going to a special school, or whether any individuals who went through it themselves could let me know their thoughts? I appreciate everyone is different :)

Thanks

Parents

  • sorry, he might hate you for not giving him a chance in special school later when he finds out that he could have been in a better environment for him.

    Who knows. I know that is really hard to swallow.  I was an easy target at school and whilst I didn't hate school at the time talking to someone recently I didn't enjoy school either.  As said, I was an easy target and unfortunately overheard younger ones talk about me as village idiot. I never shared this with anyone at all....  until recently with other things.

    He could resent you for not giving him a chance in a better environment or he could resent you for pulling him out.  If he is unsettled there and things aren't happening, please choose for him what to do.  You are doing your best for him as any parent would do.  Apparently I was assessed for special school just before going to secondary and some how passed for secondary but think it was more on physical grounds anyway. Emotionally I can't help but wonder if I had been better elsewhere.  Autism wasn't heard of in girls back in 80's anyway.

      If he is unhappy and struggling give him a chance to shine and recapture life. Swap schools. It easier for you guys to do that today at least.  It could just simply be the wrong crowd around. Teachers don't understand or something. Look at other schools in the area. Find out what there is. But dont try to make him suffer because you are worried he might hate you later on. Who knows how he feel later on.  

    How does he feel about changing schools? It could be just to another school in the area if you have that option. It don't have to be special school as such.

Reply

  • sorry, he might hate you for not giving him a chance in special school later when he finds out that he could have been in a better environment for him.

    Who knows. I know that is really hard to swallow.  I was an easy target at school and whilst I didn't hate school at the time talking to someone recently I didn't enjoy school either.  As said, I was an easy target and unfortunately overheard younger ones talk about me as village idiot. I never shared this with anyone at all....  until recently with other things.

    He could resent you for not giving him a chance in a better environment or he could resent you for pulling him out.  If he is unsettled there and things aren't happening, please choose for him what to do.  You are doing your best for him as any parent would do.  Apparently I was assessed for special school just before going to secondary and some how passed for secondary but think it was more on physical grounds anyway. Emotionally I can't help but wonder if I had been better elsewhere.  Autism wasn't heard of in girls back in 80's anyway.

      If he is unhappy and struggling give him a chance to shine and recapture life. Swap schools. It easier for you guys to do that today at least.  It could just simply be the wrong crowd around. Teachers don't understand or something. Look at other schools in the area. Find out what there is. But dont try to make him suffer because you are worried he might hate you later on. Who knows how he feel later on.  

    How does he feel about changing schools? It could be just to another school in the area if you have that option. It don't have to be special school as such.

Children
No Data