Management of obsession

You're an insightful person, and I thank you for reading through my post. I am very impressed by, and appreciative of, the position you are taking.

Yes, to your question. We cannot be different people in different places. Regular exposure to some situations will help us to learn how to 'be' in those places, but it's always on our own terms. For example, when I was about 7, I discovered my local library. I found that it was a perfect place for me, no-one expected me to converse or interact, I learnt the 'rules' for the brief interaction of taking books out, and I could take any book off any shelf and look through it there and then. It was a heavenly bit of tranquility in a tortuous world.

I could talk for hours on this subject, all of us can talk for hours on our chosen subjects, but ask me what I want for my tea and you'll throw me into a world of confusion. I want food, not fuss. A better question would be 'Is there anything in particular you would like for your tea?' because then I can say 'no'. That answers you, no further discussion required, and I'll eat what you give me. Does that make any sense to your situation?

You can never go wrong with providing reassurance. The best reassurance is 'It's OK to be you, you are loved and lovable'.  It is very difficult for us to find acceptance of who we are, we are statisticaly rare people and therefore not really in the public's face, plus we tend to adopt very low profiles to try and avoid unecessary exposure.

Girls, however, suffer a 'double-edged' sword. They are (mostly we think 'biologicaly') programmed to socialise in ways that boys don't. This makes male autism much easier to spot, apparently, but girls can 'hide in a crowd'. Other women on here can, and do, express this better. However, it is this very ability that 'masks' girls and makes their diagnosis so much harder.

Your input into the diagnostic process is therefore of great significance.It is also very important that your daughter is honest with, and about herself. This is easier said than done, I'm afraid, because we do fond that being 'honest' often attracts ugly reactions

OCD - I think you mean CDO, that puts the letters in the right order! Joking apart, our normal behaviour is often incorrectly labeled. I'm not saying that there isn't an OCD issue for your daughter, but it may be indicative rather than absolute. It is important to us to do the same thing the same way every time. If I find a place to put something, it MUST be there when I look for it. If someone moves it, they won't understand my anger and frustration. If I've learned the 'rules' for a situation and it changes, I simply won't know how to cope, I'll be irritated beyond belief, and I'll very likely make my feelings known. I wonder if 'OCD' is actually our way of reassuring ourselves that there is at least one thing that we have control over, so cannot be changed unless WE change it. Just a thought.

I should warn you that many of us have experienced a raft of incorrect diagnoses before getting the 'real' answer. Bipolar Disorder is a very common misdiagnosis, which is why we are so sceptical and disparaging towards those so-called 'professionals' who we hear about their making the stupidest comments. Again, a common one towards girls is that 'they can't get/don't need a diagnosis because they 'do so well'. Best I fail to comment further at this point...

I hope that you are able to persuade your daughter to come on here and talk about herself, 16 is the minimum required age. If she is AS, we'll understand her and answer her in a way that she will understand. Failing that, I sincerely hope that you are sharing these posts with her. If she's like her Mum, she'll be keeping an open mind.

Fantastic.

You're an insightful person, and I thank you for reading through my post. I am very impressed by, and appreciative of, the position you are taking.

Yes, to your question. We cannot be different people in different places. Regular exposure to some situations will help us to learn how to 'be' in those places, but it's always on our own terms. For example, when I was about 7, I discovered my local library. I found that it was a perfect place for me, no-one expected me to converse or interact, I learnt the 'rules' for the brief interaction of taking books out, and I could take any book off any shelf and look through it there and then. It was a heavenly bit of tranquility in a tortuous world.

I could talk for hours on this subject, all of us can talk for hours on our chosen subjects, but ask me what I want for my tea and you'll throw me into a world of confusion. I want food, not fuss. A better question would be 'Is there anything in particular you would like for your tea?' because then I can say 'no'. That answers you, no further discussion required, and I'll eat what you give me. Does that make any sense to your situation?

You can never go wrong with providing reassurance. The best reassurance is 'It's OK to be you, you are loved and lovable'.  It is very difficult for us to find acceptance of who we are, we are statisticaly rare people and therefore not really in the public's face, plus we tend to adopt very low profiles to try and avoid unecessary exposure.

Girls, however, suffer a 'double-edged' sword. They are (mostly we think 'biologicaly') programmed to socialise in ways that boys don't. This makes male autism much easier to spot, apparently, but girls can 'hide in a crowd'. Other women on here can, and do, express this better. However, it is this very ability that 'masks' girls and makes their diagnosis so much harder.

Your input into the diagnostic process is therefore of great significance.It is also very important that your daughter is honest with, and about herself. This is easier said than done, I'm afraid, because we do fond that being 'honest' often attracts ugly reactions

OCD - I think you mean CDO, that puts the letters in the right order! Joking apart, our normal behaviour is often incorrectly labeled. I'm not saying that there isn't an OCD issue for your daughter, but it may be indicative rather than absolute. It is important to us to do the same thing the same way every time. If I find a place to put something, it MUST be there when I look for it. If someone moves it, they won't understand my anger and frustration. If I've learned the 'rules' for a situation and it changes, I simply won't know how to cope, I'll be irritated beyond belief, and I'll very likely make my feelings known. I wonder if 'OCD' is actually our way of reassuring ourselves that there is at least one thing that we have control over, so cannot be changed unless WE change it. Just a thought.

I should warn you that many of us have experienced a raft of incorrect diagnoses before getting the 'real' answer. Bipolar Disorder is a very common misdiagnosis, which is why we are so sceptical and disparaging towards those so-called 'professionals' who we hear about their making the stupidest comments. Again, a common one towards girls is that 'they can't get/don't need a diagnosis because they 'do so well'. Best I fail to comment further at this point...

I hope that you are able to persuade your daughter to come on here and talk about herself, 16 is the minimum required age. If she is AS, we'll understand her and answer her in a way that she will understand. Failing that, I sincerely hope that you are sharing these posts with her. If she's like her Mum, she'll be keeping an open mind.

Fantastic.