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Management of obsession

Dad2067

Hi,

Our 12 year old son who I would describe as mild Aspergers is very much into building computers. I'm not sure if it represents a "special interest", but it is certainly something he is very passionate about and devotes all of his time too. 

Having built a new one recently I'm worried that he is seeing problems with it that aren't there, either so he can re-build it or whether he is being obsessive. I'm not sure whether to pander to this and avoid the resultant stress he feels or to try and educate him to hopefully accept that there isn't an issue. As parents should we accept their "special interest" and go along with it always, or should we try and help modify their behaviour if at times the situation becomes unacceptable? 

Any thoughts and experiences gratefully received.

Parents

  • Hi Classic Codger, thank-you very much for your reply. i will take your advice and get her properly assessed, but I want to give the counselling a go first and not do too many things at once. 

    Thank-you for describing what it is like inside your head, it makes sense of the way she behaves. I used to go up to her room when I heard her crying, but it always did make it worse. Maybe I was breaking into her thoughts like you said. Now I leave her for a while and let her sort it out herself, then go up and talk about something ordinary. But I don't know if that's right either! 

    I think what you are saying then, is to give her the reassurance she wants. It won't make it any better or worse outside the home, because she can't be any different anyway. Is that right? 

    Thanks. 

Reply

  • Hi Classic Codger, thank-you very much for your reply. i will take your advice and get her properly assessed, but I want to give the counselling a go first and not do too many things at once. 

    Thank-you for describing what it is like inside your head, it makes sense of the way she behaves. I used to go up to her room when I heard her crying, but it always did make it worse. Maybe I was breaking into her thoughts like you said. Now I leave her for a while and let her sort it out herself, then go up and talk about something ordinary. But I don't know if that's right either! 

    I think what you are saying then, is to give her the reassurance she wants. It won't make it any better or worse outside the home, because she can't be any different anyway. Is that right? 

    Thanks. 

Children
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