Management of obsession

Hi guys, just thought I'd try and offer you my particular take on this. I'm an older AS person, some people would use language about me that I find quite annoying, such as 'high function', 'mild' etc, I can certainly score very highly on a Mensa test, but first and foremost, I am on the spectrum, the same as any other AS person, with the same difficulties. Hope that helps put my answer in context.

You both see something in your children that equates to being AS, and to that extent, you are right, by what you say. I can't agree that there is any such thing as 'mild' autism, a person is either on the spectrum or not, in the same way that a woman can't be just a little bit preganant. I'll carry on as if they are both AS people but I urge professional asessment for every suspected AS person.

This thing about 'obsessions' is part of who we are, for sure, but in my opinion doesn't really accurately describe it. And that last comment says it - accuracy is very important to us. You NTs use a kind of 'shorhand' to talk to each other. Allow me to demonstrate:-

If you tell me that I've 'hit the nail on the head' then I think I know what you mean, after hearing it so often that I finally made some sense of it. My reaction, however, is typical AS. I'm not nailing anything, so why are you talking about nails? And come to that, where else would you hit a nail? Simple physics tells you what the problems are going to be if you try and hit it at the other end. If you hit it in the middle, it's no longer a nail, it's a u-shaped piece of metal with each end different to the other.

What you really mean is 'that's exactly describing [the thing that] I am talking about'. Well, why not say that then, so there's less confusion? You hear the sentiment, we see the individual words.

My own 'obsessions' aren't obsessions, although I understand that you would see it your way. It's a part of my condition that things must be at their best. If something doesn't work properly, it isn't right and is therefore a constant source of nagging irritation.The 'problem' will fill and dominate my thoughts, I'll certainly be in a world, somewhere between reality and fantasy like a waking dream, where I have the 'problem' in front of me and I am working on it. Other people might call this 'focus'.

Consider, though, that we cannot break this, even when we are valiantly being present in the shared world. This process will be taking up most of our thoughts. Even if I can put it aside, it won't be long before it insists on being thought about again. It's like an Artesian Well of thought that bursts up under pressure. If I try to do something else, it won't be long before I am forced to abandon it for my current 'obsession'. The process remains the same, even if the subjest matter changes

When we are in our own world,it most likley won't even occur to us that there's any need not to be, and we are extremely busy in there. Talk to us and we won't hear you, but if you do break into our thoughts we'll be terribly irritated and angry about it, probably snap at you nastily, it can get physical too, but whatever our reaction, you will wonder at it because it isn't, in your view, expected, warranted or acceptable. We think the same when you have the effrontery to break into our world without permission, when we're doing something terribly important in our heads.

Such things are sometimes unbearably irritating, it's like having my stomach sandpapered on the inside. It is an overload of nagging irritations that send us into 'meltdown', and any combination of hightened sensitivities, thoughts and feelings can cause this.

Has that helped in any way? I've stumbled about a bit, but I hope I've given you perhaps a little sight of the view from our world. I think that for non-AS people, having an AS child can be terribly difficult.

Hi guys, just thought I'd try and offer you my particular take on this. I'm an older AS person, some people would use language about me that I find quite annoying, such as 'high function', 'mild' etc, I can certainly score very highly on a Mensa test, but first and foremost, I am on the spectrum, the same as any other AS person, with the same difficulties. Hope that helps put my answer in context.

You both see something in your children that equates to being AS, and to that extent, you are right, by what you say. I can't agree that there is any such thing as 'mild' autism, a person is either on the spectrum or not, in the same way that a woman can't be just a little bit preganant. I'll carry on as if they are both AS people but I urge professional asessment for every suspected AS person.

This thing about 'obsessions' is part of who we are, for sure, but in my opinion doesn't really accurately describe it. And that last comment says it - accuracy is very important to us. You NTs use a kind of 'shorhand' to talk to each other. Allow me to demonstrate:-

If you tell me that I've 'hit the nail on the head' then I think I know what you mean, after hearing it so often that I finally made some sense of it. My reaction, however, is typical AS. I'm not nailing anything, so why are you talking about nails? And come to that, where else would you hit a nail? Simple physics tells you what the problems are going to be if you try and hit it at the other end. If you hit it in the middle, it's no longer a nail, it's a u-shaped piece of metal with each end different to the other.

What you really mean is 'that's exactly describing [the thing that] I am talking about'. Well, why not say that then, so there's less confusion? You hear the sentiment, we see the individual words.

My own 'obsessions' aren't obsessions, although I understand that you would see it your way. It's a part of my condition that things must be at their best. If something doesn't work properly, it isn't right and is therefore a constant source of nagging irritation.The 'problem' will fill and dominate my thoughts, I'll certainly be in a world, somewhere between reality and fantasy like a waking dream, where I have the 'problem' in front of me and I am working on it. Other people might call this 'focus'.

Consider, though, that we cannot break this, even when we are valiantly being present in the shared world. This process will be taking up most of our thoughts. Even if I can put it aside, it won't be long before it insists on being thought about again. It's like an Artesian Well of thought that bursts up under pressure. If I try to do something else, it won't be long before I am forced to abandon it for my current 'obsession'. The process remains the same, even if the subjest matter changes

When we are in our own world,it most likley won't even occur to us that there's any need not to be, and we are extremely busy in there. Talk to us and we won't hear you, but if you do break into our thoughts we'll be terribly irritated and angry about it, probably snap at you nastily, it can get physical too, but whatever our reaction, you will wonder at it because it isn't, in your view, expected, warranted or acceptable. We think the same when you have the effrontery to break into our world without permission, when we're doing something terribly important in our heads.

Such things are sometimes unbearably irritating, it's like having my stomach sandpapered on the inside. It is an overload of nagging irritations that send us into 'meltdown', and any combination of hightened sensitivities, thoughts and feelings can cause this.

Has that helped in any way? I've stumbled about a bit, but I hope I've given you perhaps a little sight of the view from our world. I think that for non-AS people, having an AS child can be terribly difficult.