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Teacher wont believe anything is wrong...

ceejaydj

Hi all : )  My Daughter was assessed last year when she was 4 years old and it came back inconclusive due to the ADOS and as the school claimes she has no difficulties.  She is due to be reassessed in two years when she will be 7yrs.  Autism was picked up when she was 2yrs and all the professionals mentioned asd from the start.  Since learning all about asd i know 100% that she has got it.  She was more classically autistic when she was a baby/toddler but since she has started school she has shown that she is able to learn (copy) and adapt.  We feel she has high functioning autism.  Her older brother has adhd and is now on the waiting list for assessment for aspergers also.  Basically, we have huge problems with her at home, out and about which is also seen in her gymnastics class etc (not just with us at home) but the school are not willing to help.  She was awake most nights last week crying her eyes out and occassionally hitting out.  She finds it difficult to comunicate her anxieties but im asumming she is anxious about the school play and going to see a panto in the next few weeks.  I have written everything down in her reading book for her teacher to see and try and work with me to help her but all i got back is that "all the children in the class seem happy to go to the panto"!!! She wakes up every morning claiming she is ill with a bad belly and doesnt want to go to school, it brakes my heart.  The teacher is very old school so i am told and basically does not have much knowledge about girls with autism.  There is a boy in the same year but different class who has aspergers and he is having a hell of a time in class due to sensory issues but the teachers can see his worries as he can get quite violent(although there is not much help for him there either), My Daughter wont, if she gets upset or angry about something she holds it all in until she gets home then blows!.  We had a meeting with the ed psych a few weeks ago who was reluctant to assess my daughter as the teacher claims there are no problems in class to report.  This upset me as i knew the ed psych would be able to see how my daughter interacts with her peers and how she comunicates, plays etc so she will assess her just before she goes through the 2nd autism assessment in two years time.  Once my daughter is in school, i can imagine her being happy as everything is so structured, she even talks to her peers in class but completely blanks them outside of school or even in the playground on the way to school and on the way out.  She likes her set routines etc  Has anyone been through a similar situation?  I dont know many people with girls with ASD especially with HFA/AS.  Thank you x

Parents

  • Hi Katie, Sorry i have not replied sooner, we have had problems with our computer.  Thank you so much for your reply, i became very emotional reading it. it ment so much hearing someone who knows what my Daughter might be going through. 

    You sound very much like my older Son too especially regarding your anxieties with school trips etc, i remember when he was around 6yrs he was threatend with not going on one as he would not stop asking questions all the time! 

    My Daughter is very quiet at the momment and will not speak about her concerns to her teachers and most importantly, not even me, which makes me sad.  I can tell when she is anxious as you can see the flight or fight responces, she becomes rigid, mute and bites her nails so deep they occassionally bleed, her eyes are also wide, this happenes every morning as she is worried about getting to school late.

    She has started to tell me that she has one friend but she doesnt like it when her friend plays with other children, she says she gets angry as she believes this friend is hers only.  Nothing has been mentioned in school so i am asuming things are ok at the momment about it.

    We can go for days and everything seems ok at home but something as simple (to us) as me putting sugar on her cerial first instead of milk (like this morning) and she blows!!  Full on crying and screaming and calling me stupid etc!!  We must live in quite a structured and routine based home but her tantrums are still quite shocking and take us by suprise.

    I have come to the conclution that there is nothing i can do about changing her teachers perception of autism (especially girls) and that in 9 months time she will have another teacher who i hope will be more understanding but, in the mean time, i have contacted an organisation called SNAP who will come into school with me next month to discuss my concerns with the teachers.  Also, i am going to contact the school advisory teacher for autism about hopefully trying to make the teacher more aware and to implement social stories (which her last teacher did  last year). 

    My Daughter has huge issues with change and everything is black and white to her, she appears to have issues with the weather changes and change in morning routines in school i.e. using a different door when it rains to save getting wet (which she wont do), going into class early if (she waits even if on her own until the bell goes before she goes into class)... i think a social story explaining 'what if' sonarios would really help her.  We can do one here but it wont work as well.  She does whatever the teacher says so they need to do it.  We'll see though, got a feeling it wont happen.

    It sounds like you have an amazing Mum and that your diagnosis has been a turning point in your life for the better   It is so encouraging to hear.  Thanks again for replying, i have also taken your advice about sending articles, books or websites to school, i will be taking a load of information when i go in to the meeting next month with SNAP.  I could also pop a book or two into my Daughters bag in the hope one of the teachers or LSA's will read them lol!!  Take care xx

     

     

Reply

  • Hi Katie, Sorry i have not replied sooner, we have had problems with our computer.  Thank you so much for your reply, i became very emotional reading it. it ment so much hearing someone who knows what my Daughter might be going through. 

    You sound very much like my older Son too especially regarding your anxieties with school trips etc, i remember when he was around 6yrs he was threatend with not going on one as he would not stop asking questions all the time! 

    My Daughter is very quiet at the momment and will not speak about her concerns to her teachers and most importantly, not even me, which makes me sad.  I can tell when she is anxious as you can see the flight or fight responces, she becomes rigid, mute and bites her nails so deep they occassionally bleed, her eyes are also wide, this happenes every morning as she is worried about getting to school late.

    She has started to tell me that she has one friend but she doesnt like it when her friend plays with other children, she says she gets angry as she believes this friend is hers only.  Nothing has been mentioned in school so i am asuming things are ok at the momment about it.

    We can go for days and everything seems ok at home but something as simple (to us) as me putting sugar on her cerial first instead of milk (like this morning) and she blows!!  Full on crying and screaming and calling me stupid etc!!  We must live in quite a structured and routine based home but her tantrums are still quite shocking and take us by suprise.

    I have come to the conclution that there is nothing i can do about changing her teachers perception of autism (especially girls) and that in 9 months time she will have another teacher who i hope will be more understanding but, in the mean time, i have contacted an organisation called SNAP who will come into school with me next month to discuss my concerns with the teachers.  Also, i am going to contact the school advisory teacher for autism about hopefully trying to make the teacher more aware and to implement social stories (which her last teacher did  last year). 

    My Daughter has huge issues with change and everything is black and white to her, she appears to have issues with the weather changes and change in morning routines in school i.e. using a different door when it rains to save getting wet (which she wont do), going into class early if (she waits even if on her own until the bell goes before she goes into class)... i think a social story explaining 'what if' sonarios would really help her.  We can do one here but it wont work as well.  She does whatever the teacher says so they need to do it.  We'll see though, got a feeling it wont happen.

    It sounds like you have an amazing Mum and that your diagnosis has been a turning point in your life for the better   It is so encouraging to hear.  Thanks again for replying, i have also taken your advice about sending articles, books or websites to school, i will be taking a load of information when i go in to the meeting next month with SNAP.  I could also pop a book or two into my Daughters bag in the hope one of the teachers or LSA's will read them lol!!  Take care xx

     

     

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