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Teacher wont believe anything is wrong...

ceejaydj

Hi all : )  My Daughter was assessed last year when she was 4 years old and it came back inconclusive due to the ADOS and as the school claimes she has no difficulties.  She is due to be reassessed in two years when she will be 7yrs.  Autism was picked up when she was 2yrs and all the professionals mentioned asd from the start.  Since learning all about asd i know 100% that she has got it.  She was more classically autistic when she was a baby/toddler but since she has started school she has shown that she is able to learn (copy) and adapt.  We feel she has high functioning autism.  Her older brother has adhd and is now on the waiting list for assessment for aspergers also.  Basically, we have huge problems with her at home, out and about which is also seen in her gymnastics class etc (not just with us at home) but the school are not willing to help.  She was awake most nights last week crying her eyes out and occassionally hitting out.  She finds it difficult to comunicate her anxieties but im asumming she is anxious about the school play and going to see a panto in the next few weeks.  I have written everything down in her reading book for her teacher to see and try and work with me to help her but all i got back is that "all the children in the class seem happy to go to the panto"!!! She wakes up every morning claiming she is ill with a bad belly and doesnt want to go to school, it brakes my heart.  The teacher is very old school so i am told and basically does not have much knowledge about girls with autism.  There is a boy in the same year but different class who has aspergers and he is having a hell of a time in class due to sensory issues but the teachers can see his worries as he can get quite violent(although there is not much help for him there either), My Daughter wont, if she gets upset or angry about something she holds it all in until she gets home then blows!.  We had a meeting with the ed psych a few weeks ago who was reluctant to assess my daughter as the teacher claims there are no problems in class to report.  This upset me as i knew the ed psych would be able to see how my daughter interacts with her peers and how she comunicates, plays etc so she will assess her just before she goes through the 2nd autism assessment in two years time.  Once my daughter is in school, i can imagine her being happy as everything is so structured, she even talks to her peers in class but completely blanks them outside of school or even in the playground on the way to school and on the way out.  She likes her set routines etc  Has anyone been through a similar situation?  I dont know many people with girls with ASD especially with HFA/AS.  Thank you x

Parents

  • Hiya, my names Katie and I'm 17. I've got Aspergers Syndrome, and I was only diagnosed a few months ago. Like your daughter, I always did my best to adapt and 'blend in' with the kids at that age, it was only when I got to high school that things got really bad.

    At primary school the only real 'symptoms' I showed there was when something big changed, like moving up from nursery to reception, from infants to juniors, then when the whole thing became a primary school. I used to scream, cry, throw up and cling to solid objects every time, they had to introduce a 'weening' window where they would slowly introduce me to the new envoirnment/curriculum over a few weeks. I'm annoyed they didn't pick up on it to be honest, knowing I had Aspergers would have made high school life so much easier.

    Routines are still very important to me, and every time there was some sort of play or trip I would interrogate (literally corner a teacher and question them) teachers for every little detail. Because I was one of the higher achieving students, they immediately wrote me off as fine, even if I did have trouble with the other kids as I got older. When I was in year 6 I got bullied badly with no way to tell teachers as they'd just brush it off as 'playing'.

    I had only one true 'friend' at primary who I'd occassionally invite over to play with, but if my mum invited her over I'd just blank her and go do my own thing. I usually apologised the next day but I think she knew I wasn't 'normal', so luckily she was more leniant than most normals kids.

    To date I still come home after a day at 6th Form and rant about my day to mum, and between us we try and decide whats worth complaining to them about or not. Since I was diagnosed I've had the SEN unit to escape to, where they're nice and genuinely try to help me. I also get on with the younger (they're all at least 3 years younger than me) kids with AS too, I've never been so sociable in my life! I'm nearly always in there talking to the kids at lunchtime or break, because conversations just seem so much easier and what they say seems interesting, unlike conversations with 'normals'.

    Chances are the primary aren't going to budge I'm afraid, your best bet is to keep supporting her as well as to look in advance at high schools with specialist ASD units, because most of the time they'll agree to speak with her or offer support even if she isn't diagnosed, however, make sure you talk to the SEN unit directly, don't expect the actual school to do it, because they don't care about the kids, only the results.

    I hope this helps in some way. As a last resort you could find a few web pages about aspergers syndrome in girls to send to the teacher, or direct them to this website, as it might give them more of an insight.

    Good luck!

Reply

  • Hiya, my names Katie and I'm 17. I've got Aspergers Syndrome, and I was only diagnosed a few months ago. Like your daughter, I always did my best to adapt and 'blend in' with the kids at that age, it was only when I got to high school that things got really bad.

    At primary school the only real 'symptoms' I showed there was when something big changed, like moving up from nursery to reception, from infants to juniors, then when the whole thing became a primary school. I used to scream, cry, throw up and cling to solid objects every time, they had to introduce a 'weening' window where they would slowly introduce me to the new envoirnment/curriculum over a few weeks. I'm annoyed they didn't pick up on it to be honest, knowing I had Aspergers would have made high school life so much easier.

    Routines are still very important to me, and every time there was some sort of play or trip I would interrogate (literally corner a teacher and question them) teachers for every little detail. Because I was one of the higher achieving students, they immediately wrote me off as fine, even if I did have trouble with the other kids as I got older. When I was in year 6 I got bullied badly with no way to tell teachers as they'd just brush it off as 'playing'.

    I had only one true 'friend' at primary who I'd occassionally invite over to play with, but if my mum invited her over I'd just blank her and go do my own thing. I usually apologised the next day but I think she knew I wasn't 'normal', so luckily she was more leniant than most normals kids.

    To date I still come home after a day at 6th Form and rant about my day to mum, and between us we try and decide whats worth complaining to them about or not. Since I was diagnosed I've had the SEN unit to escape to, where they're nice and genuinely try to help me. I also get on with the younger (they're all at least 3 years younger than me) kids with AS too, I've never been so sociable in my life! I'm nearly always in there talking to the kids at lunchtime or break, because conversations just seem so much easier and what they say seems interesting, unlike conversations with 'normals'.

    Chances are the primary aren't going to budge I'm afraid, your best bet is to keep supporting her as well as to look in advance at high schools with specialist ASD units, because most of the time they'll agree to speak with her or offer support even if she isn't diagnosed, however, make sure you talk to the SEN unit directly, don't expect the actual school to do it, because they don't care about the kids, only the results.

    I hope this helps in some way. As a last resort you could find a few web pages about aspergers syndrome in girls to send to the teacher, or direct them to this website, as it might give them more of an insight.

    Good luck!

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