Horrendous situation

Hi, I'll keep this as short as possible as I could go on and on.

My son's GP referred him to camhs when he was 6 years old as we and school believed him to be showing signs of autism/aspergers.

No test was done but he was kept on their books for 10 years.

In that time he was admitted to a psychiatric hospital twice and had attempted suicide on more than one occasion.

He was unable to sit in a classroom for longer than 5 minutes and was given an educational statement.

He had to move secondary school as he was learning nothing and the school couldn't cope with his emotional outbursts.

Last year he was admitted to a psychiatric hospital for a second time and was finally tested for autism.

The result came back that he wasn't autistic and the doctors accused my wife a I of looking for a diagnosis that isn't there and that we were harming him.

We were accused of child neglect and were taken to a child protection conference where we were found guilty.

We knew that if our son came home that he would no longer get any help from camhs and his future would be unbearable for him.

His weekly suicide threats and physical abuse towards his family would only get worse.

He was put in Foster Care and we were made to feel like the worst parents on the planet.

Social services of course were working in partnership with camhs and we had to go through the humiliation of being taught how to be a parent, even though we have a daughter at university studying psychology.

After a few weeks of being in care the alarm bells were ringing in social services office as the foster carer had told them that they couldn't cope with our son and that he had big problems.

To cut a long story short our son is now living with his secong foster carer and he has been forwarded to a new camhs team who have told them that they can't understand how after 10 years that his mental health has been missed and that they are 100% convinced that he is autistic.

Social services are now being super friendly towards us but that doesn't take away the horror that our son has gone through and the nightmare that we are still living.

Parents
  • Hi longman

    Thanks for your response I will look the book up.

    I just typed a long response to your points but my computer lost it when I pressed submit - not logged in doh!

    Will get round to recomposing it but regarding manipulation: If you have an AS child who has meltdowns: Ignore Ignore Ignore. Do not respond with heightened emotions, do not give them anything. If the behaviour is challenging quickly make safe then utterly ignore it. Doing otherwise will reinforce a bad pattern of behaviour that will escalate to levels in later years which will in the least frighten you and at worst end with possibly dangerous outcomes. I speak from bitter experience.

    You will learn the early tell tale signs of an impending meltdown. That is the moment to absent yourself from the AS. You have to nip this in the bud at the first opportunity by reinforcing to them the fact that you will not stand by to witness their tantrums. They will start to exploit your fears at a surprisingly young age so don't let them see it.

    Thanks again for your reply

    Mp

Reply
  • Hi longman

    Thanks for your response I will look the book up.

    I just typed a long response to your points but my computer lost it when I pressed submit - not logged in doh!

    Will get round to recomposing it but regarding manipulation: If you have an AS child who has meltdowns: Ignore Ignore Ignore. Do not respond with heightened emotions, do not give them anything. If the behaviour is challenging quickly make safe then utterly ignore it. Doing otherwise will reinforce a bad pattern of behaviour that will escalate to levels in later years which will in the least frighten you and at worst end with possibly dangerous outcomes. I speak from bitter experience.

    You will learn the early tell tale signs of an impending meltdown. That is the moment to absent yourself from the AS. You have to nip this in the bud at the first opportunity by reinforcing to them the fact that you will not stand by to witness their tantrums. They will start to exploit your fears at a surprisingly young age so don't let them see it.

    Thanks again for your reply

    Mp

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