Horrendous situation

If I might ask some questions, Makkapakka, did you only look for immediate triggers for item 5 - emotional outbursts that came out of nowhere?

There seems to be an established assumption that there is a recognisable trigger for meltdowns/emotional outbursts near the event, which is why parents are encouraged to keep diaries.

However there is another way of looking at this - that the outbursts are a response to build up of complex stresses that may be set off by something very minor, in effect a last straw. Hence the trigger as such is not really relevant

Hence were you aware of him having long established, deep-seated worries, unresolved issues, environmental stresses that kept him near explosion point most of the time?

Some of that environmental stress can be caused by bullying in schools, which may be subtler than conventional bullying, ranging from ridicule by classmates to people openly taking advantage of his difficulty.

Constant knocks, put-downs, humiliations are going to have damaging impact long term. Difficult to address in retrospect, but is there evidence, looking back that he was progressively worn down by 'insults' to his mental wellbeing, also monumental loss of self confidence and self esteem?

The point of learning is quickly lost since it doesn't fix the immediate distress.

There is evidence of people on the spectrum resorting to alcohol, initially in the hope of a social fix that never comes about, so only entrenches isolation and solitude. There is a book "Asperger Syndrome and Alcohol - Drinking to Cope? by Matthew Tinsley and Sarah Hendrickx (Jessica Kingsley Publishers 2008 ISBN 978 1 84310 609 8 - this number helps a librarian or bookshop find it).

Becoming manipulative is a defence mechanism against perceived sources of hurts.

Not a great source of comfort well down the line, but at 22 he is of an age where a road back is possible

If I might ask some questions, Makkapakka, did you only look for immediate triggers for item 5 - emotional outbursts that came out of nowhere?

There seems to be an established assumption that there is a recognisable trigger for meltdowns/emotional outbursts near the event, which is why parents are encouraged to keep diaries.

However there is another way of looking at this - that the outbursts are a response to build up of complex stresses that may be set off by something very minor, in effect a last straw. Hence the trigger as such is not really relevant

Hence were you aware of him having long established, deep-seated worries, unresolved issues, environmental stresses that kept him near explosion point most of the time?

Some of that environmental stress can be caused by bullying in schools, which may be subtler than conventional bullying, ranging from ridicule by classmates to people openly taking advantage of his difficulty.

Constant knocks, put-downs, humiliations are going to have damaging impact long term. Difficult to address in retrospect, but is there evidence, looking back that he was progressively worn down by 'insults' to his mental wellbeing, also monumental loss of self confidence and self esteem?

The point of learning is quickly lost since it doesn't fix the immediate distress.

There is evidence of people on the spectrum resorting to alcohol, initially in the hope of a social fix that never comes about, so only entrenches isolation and solitude. There is a book "Asperger Syndrome and Alcohol - Drinking to Cope? by Matthew Tinsley and Sarah Hendrickx (Jessica Kingsley Publishers 2008 ISBN 978 1 84310 609 8 - this number helps a librarian or bookshop find it).

Becoming manipulative is a defence mechanism against perceived sources of hurts.

Not a great source of comfort well down the line, but at 22 he is of an age where a road back is possible