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Horrendous situation

Hammer

Hi, I'll keep this as short as possible as I could go on and on.

My son's GP referred him to camhs when he was 6 years old as we and school believed him to be showing signs of autism/aspergers.

No test was done but he was kept on their books for 10 years.

In that time he was admitted to a psychiatric hospital twice and had attempted suicide on more than one occasion.

He was unable to sit in a classroom for longer than 5 minutes and was given an educational statement.

He had to move secondary school as he was learning nothing and the school couldn't cope with his emotional outbursts.

Last year he was admitted to a psychiatric hospital for a second time and was finally tested for autism.

The result came back that he wasn't autistic and the doctors accused my wife a I of looking for a diagnosis that isn't there and that we were harming him.

We were accused of child neglect and were taken to a child protection conference where we were found guilty.

We knew that if our son came home that he would no longer get any help from camhs and his future would be unbearable for him.

His weekly suicide threats and physical abuse towards his family would only get worse.

He was put in Foster Care and we were made to feel like the worst parents on the planet.

Social services of course were working in partnership with camhs and we had to go through the humiliation of being taught how to be a parent, even though we have a daughter at university studying psychology.

After a few weeks of being in care the alarm bells were ringing in social services office as the foster carer had told them that they couldn't cope with our son and that he had big problems.

To cut a long story short our son is now living with his secong foster carer and he has been forwarded to a new camhs team who have told them that they can't understand how after 10 years that his mental health has been missed and that they are 100% convinced that he is autistic.

Social services are now being super friendly towards us but that doesn't take away the horror that our son has gone through and the nightmare that we are still living.

Parents

  • I'm sorry to hear your story, I'm outraged, but sorry to say completely unsurprised. Sadly, it's all too familiar for me. I've worked alongside Social Services, and found that they're either excellent or appallingly bad, at about a 1/99 split. I've attended case conferences as a professional, and so often had to sit and seethe at what I call it the uneducated opinions of little middle class children with degrees, and I get very very impatient with it.

    Such failings are, of course, inexcusible. The pain, anguish and complete lack of help, sympathy and understanding are the key underlying issues - they start from a point of view that you're 'guilty', they stack up all the supporting evidence for it, but worst of all is that they haven't the intelligence to consider the opposite view, that you might just be their innocent victims. Then, when they find out that they can't sustain their view, that a better, proper opinion contradicts them entirley, they can't kiss your *** enough.

    Creeps.

    I'd urge you to make the strongest possible complaint about your family's treatment. An independent panel should be set up to look into this. They won't always tell you all of the outcomes, but you can at least hope that they 'get' a learning point from this. I think it is very much associated with the general treatment that AS people get from the general public, but Social Services have to be so much better than that, not join in with some pack of baying hounds, like a Jeremy Kyle audience.

    Lastly. You're absolutely right - nothing can ever take away the horror of what they have done or the situation as it continues. Personaly, I'd throw everything back at them that they've ever said, but I'm AS and I remember everything, accurately. If your son is AS, he'll always carry a memory I'm afraid, but if he and you get the right help and support, hopefully he'll be able to come to terms with it in a way that suits him

Reply

  • I'm sorry to hear your story, I'm outraged, but sorry to say completely unsurprised. Sadly, it's all too familiar for me. I've worked alongside Social Services, and found that they're either excellent or appallingly bad, at about a 1/99 split. I've attended case conferences as a professional, and so often had to sit and seethe at what I call it the uneducated opinions of little middle class children with degrees, and I get very very impatient with it.

    Such failings are, of course, inexcusible. The pain, anguish and complete lack of help, sympathy and understanding are the key underlying issues - they start from a point of view that you're 'guilty', they stack up all the supporting evidence for it, but worst of all is that they haven't the intelligence to consider the opposite view, that you might just be their innocent victims. Then, when they find out that they can't sustain their view, that a better, proper opinion contradicts them entirley, they can't kiss your *** enough.

    Creeps.

    I'd urge you to make the strongest possible complaint about your family's treatment. An independent panel should be set up to look into this. They won't always tell you all of the outcomes, but you can at least hope that they 'get' a learning point from this. I think it is very much associated with the general treatment that AS people get from the general public, but Social Services have to be so much better than that, not join in with some pack of baying hounds, like a Jeremy Kyle audience.

    Lastly. You're absolutely right - nothing can ever take away the horror of what they have done or the situation as it continues. Personaly, I'd throw everything back at them that they've ever said, but I'm AS and I remember everything, accurately. If your son is AS, he'll always carry a memory I'm afraid, but if he and you get the right help and support, hopefully he'll be able to come to terms with it in a way that suits him

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