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Intimidation

Rocketgirl

A couple of nights ago my adult son who has Aspergers (he's 24) had a massive outburst about current political topic. He had an argument on Facebook with someone and he was extremely angry. He is very passionate about the topic and it feels very personal to him. He started shouting etc (no violence) to which his stepfather reacted and was in his face shouting back - the worst possible scenario! This lasted for about 5 minutes even though it seemed like eternity at the time. I tried to stop him and pulled him away but it was too late, the 'damage's been done. my son then launched a series of insults and luckily had no response to that.

Now two days later my son is even angrier than before, he won't even speak to me. My husband is struggling with accepting that my son has all the difficulties associated with Aspergers; he acknowledges everything and seems understanding but when we are in a sticky situation he seems to forget everything I tell him. I don't know what to do. I'm caught in the middle and am being blamed by both sides. 

Does anyone have any advice on how to defuse the situation and help. I'm at the end of my tether and don't know what to do

Parents

  • I have Asperger's and have ended up shouting and screaming at my parents. Part of the problem, I think, is my parents not really understanding my condition. They will shout, get angry, stressed or intrusively question me, and this sensorily overwhelms me, so I snap back and then this makes them even more angry, and I then become even more overwhelmed and so it goes on. Also, being very sensitive and having quite low self esteem because of my social failings, any perceived criticism or a single word can make me explode quite uncontrollably. Unfortunately my parents have said things in the past, under stress, that I can't forget, and so when they get angry or stressed all my negative memories of being a different and an outsider come flooding back. Unfortunately I was diagnosed very late and my parents still often make mistakes in how how they communicate with me, despite understanding autism on a theoretical level.

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  • I have Asperger's and have ended up shouting and screaming at my parents. Part of the problem, I think, is my parents not really understanding my condition. They will shout, get angry, stressed or intrusively question me, and this sensorily overwhelms me, so I snap back and then this makes them even more angry, and I then become even more overwhelmed and so it goes on. Also, being very sensitive and having quite low self esteem because of my social failings, any perceived criticism or a single word can make me explode quite uncontrollably. Unfortunately my parents have said things in the past, under stress, that I can't forget, and so when they get angry or stressed all my negative memories of being a different and an outsider come flooding back. Unfortunately I was diagnosed very late and my parents still often make mistakes in how how they communicate with me, despite understanding autism on a theoretical level.

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