Intimidation

A couple of nights ago my adult son who has Aspergers (he's 24) had a massive outburst about current political topic. He had an argument on Facebook with someone and he was extremely angry. He is very passionate about the topic and it feels very personal to him. He started shouting etc (no violence) to which his stepfather reacted and was in his face shouting back - the worst possible scenario! This lasted for about 5 minutes even though it seemed like eternity at the time. I tried to stop him and pulled him away but it was too late, the 'damage's been done. my son then launched a series of insults and luckily had no response to that.

Now two days later my son is even angrier than before, he won't even speak to me. My husband is struggling with accepting that my son has all the difficulties associated with Aspergers; he acknowledges everything and seems understanding but when we are in a sticky situation he seems to forget everything I tell him. I don't know what to do. I'm caught in the middle and am being blamed by both sides. 

Does anyone have any advice on how to defuse the situation and help. I'm at the end of my tether and don't know what to do

Parents
  • Hi.  There are a number of similar posts on here about a parent who sometimes appears to understand more than they do.  Check them out.  I suppose who can know the theory, it's putting it into practice that can be difficult.  Your husband responded as some non autistic fathers might do to a non autistic son.  You might get accused of "being too soft" or similar because of this frame of mind.  If he's amenable, show him info on this site or get a professional who really understands autism to talk to him.  He needs to be willing as this situation cd well happen again. Also talk to your son to try to explain why things developed the way they did.  A lot of posters will have experienced "being stuck in the middle". Not a pleasant place to be.

Reply
  • Hi.  There are a number of similar posts on here about a parent who sometimes appears to understand more than they do.  Check them out.  I suppose who can know the theory, it's putting it into practice that can be difficult.  Your husband responded as some non autistic fathers might do to a non autistic son.  You might get accused of "being too soft" or similar because of this frame of mind.  If he's amenable, show him info on this site or get a professional who really understands autism to talk to him.  He needs to be willing as this situation cd well happen again. Also talk to your son to try to explain why things developed the way they did.  A lot of posters will have experienced "being stuck in the middle". Not a pleasant place to be.

Children
No Data