saying No

I do sympathise with your situation. I was a horribly selfish teenager, way back in the sixties. I had no regard for rules, either at school or at home. No, from my parents always meant no, so I just lied to them, and did what I wanted anyway. I had few possessions, so breaking things was never an option. Caring about other people and their point of view, came very late for me. I only really understood my parents viewpoint when I had children of my own.

  We are all leading busy lives and we want our families to be happy. I know how important it is as a parent to have happy children. It seems like a solution to back down and let them have certain things, so that they fit in with school mates and home life is peaceful but you may be making matters worse in the long run.

If your child asks for something and you say no, they have 2 options:- to accept your decission or to fight for what they want.

If they decide to fight for what they want and you then give them what they want, then that is a successful way of getting what they want. A subscription to a sport channel is a great reward for their effort. You have in effect rewarded their bad behaviour.

I really feel that this sounds unfair, when you want to give your children the good things in life that they say their friends have. But you could make them earn these things with good behaviour.

Bad behaviour should have bad consequences. If they break things, then they should go without until they have made some reparation. They need to earn the replacement by earning cash from a paper round or doing work for you and the family to earn cash to save up and contribute to the replacement.

I believe stealing should have serious consequences to make sure it is nipped in the bud before they try it outside the family home.

No must mean NO, not maybe or you may be able to convince me, though I fear you may have a struggle to turn this around.

I do sympathise with your situation. I was a horribly selfish teenager, way back in the sixties. I had no regard for rules, either at school or at home. No, from my parents always meant no, so I just lied to them, and did what I wanted anyway. I had few possessions, so breaking things was never an option. Caring about other people and their point of view, came very late for me. I only really understood my parents viewpoint when I had children of my own.

  We are all leading busy lives and we want our families to be happy. I know how important it is as a parent to have happy children. It seems like a solution to back down and let them have certain things, so that they fit in with school mates and home life is peaceful but you may be making matters worse in the long run.

If your child asks for something and you say no, they have 2 options:- to accept your decission or to fight for what they want.

If they decide to fight for what they want and you then give them what they want, then that is a successful way of getting what they want. A subscription to a sport channel is a great reward for their effort. You have in effect rewarded their bad behaviour.

I really feel that this sounds unfair, when you want to give your children the good things in life that they say their friends have. But you could make them earn these things with good behaviour.

Bad behaviour should have bad consequences. If they break things, then they should go without until they have made some reparation. They need to earn the replacement by earning cash from a paper round or doing work for you and the family to earn cash to save up and contribute to the replacement.

I believe stealing should have serious consequences to make sure it is nipped in the bud before they try it outside the family home.

No must mean NO, not maybe or you may be able to convince me, though I fear you may have a struggle to turn this around.