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plz help

uzma k

hi im new to thiis site.

my son is 3 years and 9 months he is waiting for autism diagnoses which will take about year.

my son is very energetic,positiv and happy boy but does not give eye contact at all.as a mother i feel if he gets therapy treatment at this stage he can recover enough but doctors say before diagnose no treatment can be strted properly , but i dont want to waste 1 more year. i cant leave him to become sevear. private therapies are very expensive and we are not entitled for extra funding for private treatment.

at the moment he is in a private nersary.now i come to know that if he is in a primary school nersary he could get 1 to 1 support there but its very late as all the primary school plces for september has gone .my son,s 1 year is gonna waste and he will remain in private nersary that is not entitled for 1 to 1 support.

what should i do now to get 1 to 1 support plz help

Parents

  • Hi, try not to panic.  I can't really help with getting one to one: I know lots of people have to wait.  But that might not be the end of the world.  I and a lot of people on this board are late diagnosed adults (in my 40s and awaiting diagnosis myself).  When we grew up there was no diagnosis and no support. That's not great, many of us had awful childhoods, but it didn't stop us growing up to have jobs and families and living independently.

    I fear sometimes the current attitude swings too far the other way: too much emphasis on therapy and trying to 'cure' and 'support'.  And 'cure' often means try to make us 'act normal'.  The problem with that is it is an act: and constantly having to pretend and not be ourselves can lead to severe depression.  There is currently no 'cure' that can actually make us 'normal': underneath we remain autistic for life.  'Support' can smother if it's overdone.  Hard as our childhoods were, I know a lot of us older ones wonder if we'd have done as well if we'd had the current type of therapy.

    You say your son is happy and positive: why not take his lead?  There are positives to being autistic, and you can support him in enjoying them. Personally I enjoy it that I can go to an event or an exhibition without feeling that I have to consult others and go in a herd.  I like it that I notice and enjoy things in the enviroment that others don't (whether it's a pattern or an urban fox!).  Your son's special interests and abilities may lead him to an unusual and (to him) fullfilling job.

    There's a program shown on Channel 4 recently which I'd recomend you watch on catch up, called 'The Autistic Gardener'.  Gives a much better view of autism than many out there I think.

Reply

  • Hi, try not to panic.  I can't really help with getting one to one: I know lots of people have to wait.  But that might not be the end of the world.  I and a lot of people on this board are late diagnosed adults (in my 40s and awaiting diagnosis myself).  When we grew up there was no diagnosis and no support. That's not great, many of us had awful childhoods, but it didn't stop us growing up to have jobs and families and living independently.

    I fear sometimes the current attitude swings too far the other way: too much emphasis on therapy and trying to 'cure' and 'support'.  And 'cure' often means try to make us 'act normal'.  The problem with that is it is an act: and constantly having to pretend and not be ourselves can lead to severe depression.  There is currently no 'cure' that can actually make us 'normal': underneath we remain autistic for life.  'Support' can smother if it's overdone.  Hard as our childhoods were, I know a lot of us older ones wonder if we'd have done as well if we'd had the current type of therapy.

    You say your son is happy and positive: why not take his lead?  There are positives to being autistic, and you can support him in enjoying them. Personally I enjoy it that I can go to an event or an exhibition without feeling that I have to consult others and go in a herd.  I like it that I notice and enjoy things in the enviroment that others don't (whether it's a pattern or an urban fox!).  Your son's special interests and abilities may lead him to an unusual and (to him) fullfilling job.

    There's a program shown on Channel 4 recently which I'd recomend you watch on catch up, called 'The Autistic Gardener'.  Gives a much better view of autism than many out there I think.

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