My son is 13 and has been diagnosed with aspergers since he was 6. He is in mainstream school where he has a lot of support. A room he can go to if feeling overwhelmed. He has a pass to leave class early to avoid busy corridors. In some lessons he has a teacher with him one to one. However I have found in the past year that he is getting more and more upset and frustrated and it seems he feels he has to punish himself if he thinks he has done something wrong, even if to others he hasn't. This can be something simple such as not using an umbrella so he gets wet when walking home, to actually biting, hitting or scratching himself leaving bruises on his arms, face and forehead. I am at a complete loss of what to do and finding it very hard not to get angry at him. Then I hate myself for feeling this way. I just get so frustrated at not being able to understand and help him. I spoke to his consultant at the hospital about it and he didn't seem concerned, Was more concerned that my son was slightly above his recommended bmi!! Of course now my son has taken this as he is fat and now has serious self image issues. I have now changed consultant and the new one has refered him to CAHMS. The appointment isn't till August but I hate to see him like this and feel I am failing him. He's like a different lad when he is at home with me, so happy and loving. Please can anyone give me any advice as to how to handle this?
Hi Marjorie, thank you for your reply. The bruises and scratches are self inflicted but I do know he is verbally bullied at school where the kids try and get him to react because they think it's funny to see him have a meltdown. I only know this as i've seen them do it when I pick him up from school. My son doesn't realise he is being bullied.
I have a good relationship with my son and at home he is relaxed, and happy and with some coaxing he does talk to me about what is going on though he can't explain how he feels that makes him do this. The lastest incident was because he was a little bit late for a class, the teacher was fine about it and made no issue, but my son felt he needed to be punished and bit himself on his arm. He says things like I should sit him on the step outside and lock him out as punishment. I have never punished him or hit him but he says he is scared of how i'll react if he has done something he thinks is wrong.
I praise him all the time for things he does well, which isn't hard to do as he is so well behaved, good mannered and intelligent. And am always telling him how much I love him. Everyday for at least an hour we have "our time" where the tv goes off and we sit and do something he wants to do whether it be him reading to me or play games together.
The little book of achievements is a good idea, I think I am going to try that so that he can get it out and look at it when I'm not with him at school.
Hi Marjorie, thank you for your reply. The bruises and scratches are self inflicted but I do know he is verbally bullied at school where the kids try and get him to react because they think it's funny to see him have a meltdown. I only know this as i've seen them do it when I pick him up from school. My son doesn't realise he is being bullied.
I have a good relationship with my son and at home he is relaxed, and happy and with some coaxing he does talk to me about what is going on though he can't explain how he feels that makes him do this. The lastest incident was because he was a little bit late for a class, the teacher was fine about it and made no issue, but my son felt he needed to be punished and bit himself on his arm. He says things like I should sit him on the step outside and lock him out as punishment. I have never punished him or hit him but he says he is scared of how i'll react if he has done something he thinks is wrong.
I praise him all the time for things he does well, which isn't hard to do as he is so well behaved, good mannered and intelligent. And am always telling him how much I love him. Everyday for at least an hour we have "our time" where the tv goes off and we sit and do something he wants to do whether it be him reading to me or play games together.
The little book of achievements is a good idea, I think I am going to try that so that he can get it out and look at it when I'm not with him at school.
