My son is 13 and has been diagnosed with aspergers since he was 6. He is in mainstream school where he has a lot of support. A room he can go to if feeling overwhelmed. He has a pass to leave class early to avoid busy corridors. In some lessons he has a teacher with him one to one. However I have found in the past year that he is getting more and more upset and frustrated and it seems he feels he has to punish himself if he thinks he has done something wrong, even if to others he hasn't. This can be something simple such as not using an umbrella so he gets wet when walking home, to actually biting, hitting or scratching himself leaving bruises on his arms, face and forehead. I am at a complete loss of what to do and finding it very hard not to get angry at him. Then I hate myself for feeling this way. I just get so frustrated at not being able to understand and help him. I spoke to his consultant at the hospital about it and he didn't seem concerned, Was more concerned that my son was slightly above his recommended bmi!! Of course now my son has taken this as he is fat and now has serious self image issues. I have now changed consultant and the new one has refered him to CAHMS. The appointment isn't till August but I hate to see him like this and feel I am failing him. He's like a different lad when he is at home with me, so happy and loving. Please can anyone give me any advice as to how to handle this?
Hi ametmum. It must be nearly the end of term. It could be tiredness combined with social overload and that "had enough of school for this year" feeling. Maybe a complete rest and quiet during the holidays will help him feel happier within him self.
What does he do after the end of term? Perhaps August is a good time to assess how things are, before the start of the new year.
Are you certain that his bruises are self inflicted? Could bullying be an issue? If he really is doing this himself, it could be verbal bullying?
I would sugest spending some time with him doing something he enjoys, in the hope of getting him to relax. Once relaxed, he may begin to talk about what is upsetting him.
If he has a negative self image, he needs to challenge it himself. Eg if someone calls him stupid, or he feels stupid because he can't manage something, he should say to himself, I struggle with X but I can do Y. I may be able to do X better in time.
Someone posted on here recently about noting down acheivements, so that when they have negative thoughts and feelings, they can look back at their list of successes and remind themselves that they are successful some times. This is a good way of boosting self esteem. We aspies tend to be perfectionists, and when we feel down, we only seem to remember the bad things that have happened to us. So perhaps if you remind him of his acievements and he begins to record his own achievements, it may help him have more self esteem.
Hi ametmum. It must be nearly the end of term. It could be tiredness combined with social overload and that "had enough of school for this year" feeling. Maybe a complete rest and quiet during the holidays will help him feel happier within him self.
What does he do after the end of term? Perhaps August is a good time to assess how things are, before the start of the new year.
Are you certain that his bruises are self inflicted? Could bullying be an issue? If he really is doing this himself, it could be verbal bullying?
I would sugest spending some time with him doing something he enjoys, in the hope of getting him to relax. Once relaxed, he may begin to talk about what is upsetting him.
If he has a negative self image, he needs to challenge it himself. Eg if someone calls him stupid, or he feels stupid because he can't manage something, he should say to himself, I struggle with X but I can do Y. I may be able to do X better in time.
Someone posted on here recently about noting down acheivements, so that when they have negative thoughts and feelings, they can look back at their list of successes and remind themselves that they are successful some times. This is a good way of boosting self esteem. We aspies tend to be perfectionists, and when we feel down, we only seem to remember the bad things that have happened to us. So perhaps if you remind him of his acievements and he begins to record his own achievements, it may help him have more self esteem.
