I'm so tired of it

I have a similar problem with my daughter.  At home her rages and outbursts are awful, and she blows up over any little thing and it can be really upsetting.

I felt like I was a bad parent as camhs have asked how can she be acting like that at home because the times they saw her she was well behaved and she behaves at school?  I said it's true, I aren't lying, and fortunately my daughter agreed with me that she blew up over any little thing at home.

So the pratitioner thought it might be that things build up in the day from all the stress of school, because she doesn't like noise, light, or people being near her, but keeps how she feels suppressed, so when she gets home she has her outbursts, like a pressure cooker blowing off steam.  

The practitioner told me to research about it on the internet or ring NAS for advice.

I haven't rung yet but am reading books from the library, and looking for ways to cope.

At the moment, I am reading 'The Complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome' by Tony Attwood.  It's well worth reading.

On page 132... he wrote about 'Jekyll and Hyde' personalities where they have 'exemplary behaviour' in class, and wait until they get home 'to release their anguish.'

He said that 'The cause of the problem is the child not communicating extreme stress at school, and not a parent who does not know how to control his or her child.'

Reading more, it seems when they feel safe, such as at home, then they let off the pressure in their outbursts there.  

They are also frustrated at not knowing how to communicate how they feel. 

For some people, it seems that hugging or being told to cheer up makes matters worse - they might not like being touched, and saying 'cheer up' has no real meaning, and can wind them up more.

As caring mums we only want the best for our kids, and in some ways I feel like I have got to learn to be, what I would call ''less caring'', and let her do much more for herself, but then she gets very angry because she isn't getting things done for her. So it is difficult as I want a peaceful house... if that is possible.

I have a similar problem with my daughter.  At home her rages and outbursts are awful, and she blows up over any little thing and it can be really upsetting.

I felt like I was a bad parent as camhs have asked how can she be acting like that at home because the times they saw her she was well behaved and she behaves at school?  I said it's true, I aren't lying, and fortunately my daughter agreed with me that she blew up over any little thing at home.

So the pratitioner thought it might be that things build up in the day from all the stress of school, because she doesn't like noise, light, or people being near her, but keeps how she feels suppressed, so when she gets home she has her outbursts, like a pressure cooker blowing off steam.  

The practitioner told me to research about it on the internet or ring NAS for advice.

I haven't rung yet but am reading books from the library, and looking for ways to cope.

At the moment, I am reading 'The Complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome' by Tony Attwood.  It's well worth reading.

On page 132... he wrote about 'Jekyll and Hyde' personalities where they have 'exemplary behaviour' in class, and wait until they get home 'to release their anguish.'

He said that 'The cause of the problem is the child not communicating extreme stress at school, and not a parent who does not know how to control his or her child.'

Reading more, it seems when they feel safe, such as at home, then they let off the pressure in their outbursts there.  

They are also frustrated at not knowing how to communicate how they feel. 

For some people, it seems that hugging or being told to cheer up makes matters worse - they might not like being touched, and saying 'cheer up' has no real meaning, and can wind them up more.

As caring mums we only want the best for our kids, and in some ways I feel like I have got to learn to be, what I would call ''less caring'', and let her do much more for herself, but then she gets very angry because she isn't getting things done for her. So it is difficult as I want a peaceful house... if that is possible.