ASD child

Hi,

I totally understand how you feel. My son is also 2.5 years old and diagnosised as well.  My husband is very busy and I have to deal with my son all by myself. He is also speech delayed.

We just started our speech theorapy. According to the 2 speech theorapy sessions we attended, I felt it's more like training the parents who will go home and then train their child. How we behave towards them has huge impact rather than the once or twice speech theorapies per week. I can see some improvement since I started to label everything.(It's very tiring)

My son is also very active. He couldn't stop and is always on move. However, he does sleep ok. I used to give him a dummy, a sleeping buddy(a toy with weak light and music) and a pillow to help him sleep. Now he doesn't need the dummy any more. I felt if my son is very exhausted and he falls in sleep quite fast, otherwise he will turn around and climb on me for ages. I took my son to the playground quite a lot to burn some energy.

Hi again - it sounds from your last post that you don't know where to turn for help.  You are not alone now that you've found this site.  You can post whenever you want to + posters will try to help.  There are parents on this site + also autistic people so there's a lot of knowledge + experience.  You say your son is hyperactive.  Has he been diagnosed with adhd?  Also, sometimes autistic people can be over active/wound up because they find life chaotic.  Your son needs a very set routine.  Little changes will mean a lot to him + will wind him up.  You can do him a pictoral calendar.  It can start with a picture of a child in bed + his mother waking him up.  Then getting washed, then getting dressed + so on.  In this way he can see what will happen nxt + this shd help to calm him down.  If I were you I'd stop holding him to try to get him to sleep.  It's torture for both of you, the way you describe it.  He may finally fall asleep thru exhaustion, as may you, but it's not even a short term solution is it?  You are worn out by it.  So, if you have problems accessing a support group for parents with children with autism then this site will be a good resource for you.  Has your son still got professionals overseeing his care?  Also I wd re-visit your GP  to ask about any services that may be on offer, inc. some respite care which your local council may provide and/or nursery provision in a place where they understand about autism.  You shd also apply for any benefits you may be entitled to.  Citizens Advice Bureau will be helpful, if you haven't applied already.  You need to try to create a steady predictable routine for your son.  Does he understand single words of phrases?  Keep what you say short + to the point.  Too many words will be confusing.  Say the word + show him.  EG:  you can say "milk" + show him the carton.  That sort of thing.  He's wound up because life is chaotic to him because of his autism.....help him to understand his days better.   I know how awful it is to be totally worn out but what you're doing with the holding isn't working, quite the opposite, so try some of the things I've suggested + see how you get on.  Don't expect any quick results.  The key is in the consistency of your approach + adopting a more laid back attitude whilst at the same time being v observant as to what triggers your son off.  Has he sensory issues......certain sounds, textures, foods, smells etc?  Use this site to gain knowledge.  It will empower you.  

hi,

thanx alot for replay.my son used to go to speech therapy but he has no other appointments,and iam kind lost now to who to contact and what i can do to help him.my support groups r so far that i can only go with my husband and most of the time hes not home.

last night was horrible,i felt so alone bcoz my son was screaming and crying bcoz i was holding him tight so he can sleep,he is so hyper active that bed time is nightmare for me,its like strangling him to bed and he has so much strenght.iam so tired,i really need help plz...

Hi, Manda's right, you are not a bad parent, you are a good parent + don't let anyone tell you differently.  Have a look at the posts from parents who have a newly-diagnosed child to see how they feel about things.  Also check things out via the home pg.  There's loads of info + their may be a support group near to you which you may wish to attend.  Learn about autism by using this site.  Learn bit by bit how autism affects your child as an individual, then you will feel more in control + be able to help him.  Are the professionals offering your son speech therapy?  Autism can be difficult for the non-autistic to understand.  They mistakenly put it down to "naughty" behaviour.  This is a classic mistake, as is using disciplinary methods that are frequently used with non autistic children.  Are family + friends being supportive?

Hi please don't feel like your the bad parent I went through that

Your child has autism it's not your fault

We all have to learn how to deal with it in our own way

I'm sure your a great parent