I feel like i'm going mad!!!!

Hiya,

I'm not a parent I'm afraid but I am an aspie that got diagnosed recently at 17. All I can say is that from every single resource I've been given or found about my condition is directed at toddlers or little kids, and its hard.

My mums reaction to when we were told I had Aspergers was, 'I'm so sorry baby, I'm so sorry'. She didn't think I was different either, just weird.

Honestly, from what I can tell there are pro's and con's of being diagnosed early or late.

Early Pro's:

You get the help you need.

Adults don't treat you as much of a nuisance or a freak if you have a diagnosis.

You get taught things you need to know rather than struggle to understand other people.

You get the support you need.

Your parents have all your life to adapt and come to terms with it before you're old enough to realise the serious implications of your diagnosis.

Early Con's:

Many 'normal' people (teachers) will automatically assume you have the worst type of ASD imaginable and may not treat you according to your skill, but according to a textbook on ASD.

Theres the threat of 'self-fulfilling prophecy' (my friend studies psychology) which basically means if you're raised with people telling you you're limited to certain symptoms or behaviour you may never challenge this opinion and end up limited to the symptoms and behaviour.

Late Pros:

You've gotten this far and coped this well alone all these years, so you're less likely to fall into a self fulfilling prophecy e.g. I went to South Africa on holiday even though I am TERRIFIED of change.

You learn to be independant and to enjoy being different (to an extent).

Late Cons:

You're prone to depression and servere anxiety.

You often get labelled as a freak and are bullied as a result, at least if you're diagnosed, many are more sympathetic if you have a diagnosis.

Your family aren't aware of your condition and often label you as a freak/try to treat you 'normally' which can lead to depression and anxiety issues.

I know you said you wouldn't leave him without diagnosis this (his teens) late, but look at it this way, if they say he doesn't have it, one less thing to worry about, if he does, it doesn't mean you have to inform the school until he's older, or you could inform the school but ask that he be treated 'normally' until he asks/needs specialised assistance from school.

Its a real hard choice to make really, even for me if I could have choosen when I got diagnosed. But from listening to my aunts stories about getting my younger cousin diagnosed aged 5 onwards, it took them years to get a diagnosis and the schools weren't willing to budge.

Ultimately its your choice, but rather than looking at it as a label, try seeing it more as a way of seeing how your son thinks.

I was described as a perfectly normal child up until I had to go to reception and was left alone with other people more often, even then it was only when I was 7 that I started showing real signs of being 'different'. I really do wish I'd had a diagnosis when I was little, so does my mum even though she too is really upset about my new 'label'.

I hope you figure this out :) Just remember, they only have an opinion that he might have ASD, he might not even have it and the psycho's just reading too much into things. Good luck!

Hiya,

I'm not a parent I'm afraid but I am an aspie that got diagnosed recently at 17. All I can say is that from every single resource I've been given or found about my condition is directed at toddlers or little kids, and its hard.

My mums reaction to when we were told I had Aspergers was, 'I'm so sorry baby, I'm so sorry'. She didn't think I was different either, just weird.

Honestly, from what I can tell there are pro's and con's of being diagnosed early or late.

Early Pro's:

You get the help you need.

Adults don't treat you as much of a nuisance or a freak if you have a diagnosis.

You get taught things you need to know rather than struggle to understand other people.

You get the support you need.

Your parents have all your life to adapt and come to terms with it before you're old enough to realise the serious implications of your diagnosis.

Early Con's:

Many 'normal' people (teachers) will automatically assume you have the worst type of ASD imaginable and may not treat you according to your skill, but according to a textbook on ASD.

Theres the threat of 'self-fulfilling prophecy' (my friend studies psychology) which basically means if you're raised with people telling you you're limited to certain symptoms or behaviour you may never challenge this opinion and end up limited to the symptoms and behaviour.

Late Pros:

You've gotten this far and coped this well alone all these years, so you're less likely to fall into a self fulfilling prophecy e.g. I went to South Africa on holiday even though I am TERRIFIED of change.

You learn to be independant and to enjoy being different (to an extent).

Late Cons:

You're prone to depression and servere anxiety.

You often get labelled as a freak and are bullied as a result, at least if you're diagnosed, many are more sympathetic if you have a diagnosis.

Your family aren't aware of your condition and often label you as a freak/try to treat you 'normally' which can lead to depression and anxiety issues.

I know you said you wouldn't leave him without diagnosis this (his teens) late, but look at it this way, if they say he doesn't have it, one less thing to worry about, if he does, it doesn't mean you have to inform the school until he's older, or you could inform the school but ask that he be treated 'normally' until he asks/needs specialised assistance from school.

Its a real hard choice to make really, even for me if I could have choosen when I got diagnosed. But from listening to my aunts stories about getting my younger cousin diagnosed aged 5 onwards, it took them years to get a diagnosis and the schools weren't willing to budge.

Ultimately its your choice, but rather than looking at it as a label, try seeing it more as a way of seeing how your son thinks.

I was described as a perfectly normal child up until I had to go to reception and was left alone with other people more often, even then it was only when I was 7 that I started showing real signs of being 'different'. I really do wish I'd had a diagnosis when I was little, so does my mum even though she too is really upset about my new 'label'.

I hope you figure this out :) Just remember, they only have an opinion that he might have ASD, he might not even have it and the psycho's just reading too much into things. Good luck!