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I feel like i'm going mad!!!!

vicjoy

Hello, i need some parent to parent reassurance please. I have a 10 yr old asd son, so i feel i have alittle experience in this field, however my 3 yr old's speech therapist recently referred him to a speech and language delay clinic. My first thought was here we go again, she told me the spectrum was vast and they are all different. Since then the appointment has come through for the 24th November to be assessed by a paediatrition, and i am in a terrible state. I went to see my gp as i am experiencing severe anxiety, ( i thought this was a hormonal imbalance) until the dr asked if i had any stresses in my life and i couldn't shut up about this appointment. She asked me if it would really matter if he was asd. Is it just me, or does the life long label upset anyone else, especially if i don't think my son show's enough signs. My older son is at a special school and is doing great. I am feeling like no one understands my point of view, and perhaps i am not explaining it properly. NO i don't want my 3 yr old to be labelled at such a young age, if at a later stage he appears to be more on the spectrum then i am happy to go along with a diagnoses, but thats at 5 or 6years old. He in my view and his pre school's view has normal 3 year old behaviour, he's loving and gentle and very funny. I was accused of being indenial with my older son so this time have tried to be the opposite.The only concerning trait is he doesn't like loud sounds.  Am i on my own with these thoughts?  Sorry for rant Vicky. 

Parents

  • Hi Vicky,

    I dont think you are going mad and if you are going mad then im there with you, I think you are just worried about what is happening with your son. I have four kids My oldest son is 16 and he has AS and dyspraxia and my youngest is hyperactive and very emotionaly immature for an 11 year old. I was refered to CHAMHs with him for his hyperactivity and he is now going through  full assesment and like you I didn't think he had ASD but was also told that everyone is different on the spectrum. I couldnt believe it was all starting again and then I felt guilty coz what if he has been struggling and i didnt see it!!!

    Now I dont know what to think and am just waiting to see psychologist. I think its the whole process that I hate the thought off, with your first child you dont know what to expect, you go through all the testing and endless questions that seem totaly irrelevant then you get the diagnosis and then go through that awfull rollercoaster of emotions and the realisation that this is for life and the realisation of how much our children will struggle for the rest of their life and then yes you do see the positive aspects and realise that they are still the same child that you love more than life itself its just that they just have a diagnosis that explains the challenges they face and now the thought of doing it all again and for another child to go through the challenges that ASD brings.  So i completly understand the thoughts you are having  and 3 seems awfully young if you dont see many concerns although in most of the research and advice I have read up on it does say that the earlier diagnoised the better it is for the child.

    Dont know if this is the parent reasurance you were hoping for but I will also say that an awfull lot of 3 year olds hate loud noises!!!

    all the best

    sam

    x

Reply

  • Hi Vicky,

    I dont think you are going mad and if you are going mad then im there with you, I think you are just worried about what is happening with your son. I have four kids My oldest son is 16 and he has AS and dyspraxia and my youngest is hyperactive and very emotionaly immature for an 11 year old. I was refered to CHAMHs with him for his hyperactivity and he is now going through  full assesment and like you I didn't think he had ASD but was also told that everyone is different on the spectrum. I couldnt believe it was all starting again and then I felt guilty coz what if he has been struggling and i didnt see it!!!

    Now I dont know what to think and am just waiting to see psychologist. I think its the whole process that I hate the thought off, with your first child you dont know what to expect, you go through all the testing and endless questions that seem totaly irrelevant then you get the diagnosis and then go through that awfull rollercoaster of emotions and the realisation that this is for life and the realisation of how much our children will struggle for the rest of their life and then yes you do see the positive aspects and realise that they are still the same child that you love more than life itself its just that they just have a diagnosis that explains the challenges they face and now the thought of doing it all again and for another child to go through the challenges that ASD brings.  So i completly understand the thoughts you are having  and 3 seems awfully young if you dont see many concerns although in most of the research and advice I have read up on it does say that the earlier diagnoised the better it is for the child.

    Dont know if this is the parent reasurance you were hoping for but I will also say that an awfull lot of 3 year olds hate loud noises!!!

    all the best

    sam

    x

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