• Replies 4 replies
  • Subscribers 65 subscribers
  • Views 1343 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

Good days and bad...

Lizzy100

Hi to all, today has not been so great... I have a 4 year old son who was diagnosed last year with ASD and fragile X syndrom, guess I've always known my little boy was a bit different and to be honest having the diagnoses confirm things came as quite a relief. 

But as he gets bigger and stronger and more determind his behaviour is becoming much more challenging and difficult to cope with. I am a single parent and he is my only child, so to a certain extent I don't really know any different. But with his lack of verbal communication skills and general development delay I am finding even the most basic of tasks a constant battle. 

Going out, for example to nursery has turned into a daily struggle, with his unpredictable behaviour and inability to understand personal safety. I have to take him in a pram, this is not ideal he is tall for his age and the pram is not really suitable (I am in the process of trying to find out how to go about organising a more suitable one), out of nowhere and for no apparent reason he will launch into an extreme meltdown, screaming incredibly loudly whilst throwing his head back hitting the pram frame, he will stretch out his legs going very stiff so that they drag on the floor. He will work up such a temper that he has no regard for how his physical outbursts are affecting himself or others. Not only is this incredibly distressing to see but even harder to deal with. 

90% of the time my son is a lovely sweet tempered little boy who enjoys nature and being out and about, but it's that small 10% which seems to be overshadowing and taking over our lives making the simple joys of bringing up a child really difficult to see. 

I am not one to normally ask for help, but I am struggling and I hate to admit this. 

just needed to get this out of my system, like I said today has not been so great, fingers crossed tomorrow will be better. Thanks for reading. Xxx

Parents

  • hi Lizzy, your son sounds like mine was at 4 years old.  i agree with advice/suggestions in previous posts.  

    Favourite music was a massive help in soothing my son's anxiety.  He wouldn't wear headphones but would hold a headphone to one ear.  

    My son was non-verbal but understood some speech.  It helped to tell him clearly 15, 10 and 5 minutes before we were due to leave the house that we were going out.  Then as we left the house, I'd tell him over and over again where we were going, then before we arrived, that we'd be there in 15, 10 and 5 minutes.  Some of his meltdowns were because he hadn't understood what was going on and his anxiety shot up when he felt 'bounced' into things.  For him, feeling a loss of control was a trigger, and for him anxiety became rage when he felt he'd lost control of his environment, of me, or worst, of himself.

    Someone told me that his meltdowns were a form of communication which helped me a bit.  Working out the trigger(s) is difficult but hugely satisfying and positive when you find it/them.

    During his meltdowns, and eventually, when I could see them coming, I forced myself to act confident, smiley and relaxed.  Some of his anxiety came from seeing me anxious.  Not easy to do but whatever works, right?!

    Well done for asking for help.  I hate doing that too.  This is my first post - probably too long.  Hope something in it helps.  Love to hear what helps and what doesn't.  You will work out a way through this.

Reply

  • hi Lizzy, your son sounds like mine was at 4 years old.  i agree with advice/suggestions in previous posts.  

    Favourite music was a massive help in soothing my son's anxiety.  He wouldn't wear headphones but would hold a headphone to one ear.  

    My son was non-verbal but understood some speech.  It helped to tell him clearly 15, 10 and 5 minutes before we were due to leave the house that we were going out.  Then as we left the house, I'd tell him over and over again where we were going, then before we arrived, that we'd be there in 15, 10 and 5 minutes.  Some of his meltdowns were because he hadn't understood what was going on and his anxiety shot up when he felt 'bounced' into things.  For him, feeling a loss of control was a trigger, and for him anxiety became rage when he felt he'd lost control of his environment, of me, or worst, of himself.

    Someone told me that his meltdowns were a form of communication which helped me a bit.  Working out the trigger(s) is difficult but hugely satisfying and positive when you find it/them.

    During his meltdowns, and eventually, when I could see them coming, I forced myself to act confident, smiley and relaxed.  Some of his anxiety came from seeing me anxious.  Not easy to do but whatever works, right?!

    Well done for asking for help.  I hate doing that too.  This is my first post - probably too long.  Hope something in it helps.  Love to hear what helps and what doesn't.  You will work out a way through this.

Children
No Data