Good days and bad...

Thanks for all your replies I really appreciate the feedback. It means a lot knowing that other people can understand where I'm coming from. so firstly yeah I should say the buggy issue and him needing it is not because he's not capable of walking but that it's a total safety issue, as in my son is not aware of his own and with unpredictable behaviour puts himself at risk.

This causes problems all round really, I'm not a particularly big person and trying to contain my son when he is in the middle of a meltdown is getting tougher all the time. I can only imagine how this must look to anyone witnessing this- my son loves to be outside and gets really excited at the thought of just leaving the front door, but it's like the excitment overwhelmes him, and he can't handle it.

In terms of sensory I don't really know enough about this to pin point any particular thing, he has always had ear problems since birth-has had grommets- and its ongoing with the hospital, I'm not exactly sure how much of the hearing problems effects the speech and language or if that is due to his diagnosis.

Anyway back to the point (sorry I tend to go off on a bit of a tangen), he loves nursery and once he is through the door generally no problems its the journey and waiting to get inside, he can sometimes work himself up where he will be fighting to not go in, but when I leave and he has been distracted by the staff and sometimes the other children, he im told calms down again. And 9 times out of 10 picking him up to go home is a lot less dramatic. He loves music but is not a one for headphones, I don't think years of going back and forwards to the hospital about his ears has helped that. But he does sometimes put his ear to certain toys, I tried this myself to see what he was getting out of it, other then being obviously louder guess the sensation of a sort of vibration felt good to him! He has come on considerably with his speech, but no where near the level he should be at for a child of his age, he has P.E.Cs cards but seems to get on better combining certain words with signing-I think the speech and language people are covering all bases and seeing what is most effective.

He definitely understands more then he is able to express himself, but I can appreciate how this would be really frustrating for him, I guess it's an ongoing journey of trying to find out out triggers and how best to cope with the various meltdowns. We are both learning all of the time!

anyway thanks again for the tips and advice, and for reading my ranty post! Much appreciated will keep you updated:-) love lizzyxxx

hi Lizzy, your son sounds like mine was at 4 years old.  i agree with advice/suggestions in previous posts.  

Favourite music was a massive help in soothing my son's anxiety.  He wouldn't wear headphones but would hold a headphone to one ear.  

My son was non-verbal but understood some speech.  It helped to tell him clearly 15, 10 and 5 minutes before we were due to leave the house that we were going out.  Then as we left the house, I'd tell him over and over again where we were going, then before we arrived, that we'd be there in 15, 10 and 5 minutes.  Some of his meltdowns were because he hadn't understood what was going on and his anxiety shot up when he felt 'bounced' into things.  For him, feeling a loss of control was a trigger, and for him anxiety became rage when he felt he'd lost control of his environment, of me, or worst, of himself.

Someone told me that his meltdowns were a form of communication which helped me a bit.  Working out the trigger(s) is difficult but hugely satisfying and positive when you find it/them.

During his meltdowns, and eventually, when I could see them coming, I forced myself to act confident, smiley and relaxed.  Some of his anxiety came from seeing me anxious.  Not easy to do but whatever works, right?!

Well done for asking for help.  I hate doing that too.  This is my first post - probably too long.  Hope something in it helps.  Love to hear what helps and what doesn't.  You will work out a way through this.

I agree with Crystal,

This sounds quite sensory. Consider headphones for the journey, either with music, stories or ear defenders to block out the sounds completely. Try these in his current buggy first, so he can get used to them.

With my son, I did use the buggy way longer than I had to, however we didn't understand the sensory issues he had with sound at the time. Once we used his headphones, things became much calmer. If your son responds well, you can try and experiment with headphones and walking. If this still causes meltdowns, it may also be due to visual sensory overload. However, if not, it may save you considerable expense and may prove successful in making the journeys more managable.

If you do decide on a new pushchair, consider one that has reversable seat so that the visual stimulus can be limited on the short journeys to nursery, but reversed to look forward facing, in calmer environments.

Re his communication, is he undergoing any speach therapy for this? Learning to sign with him could compliment spoken word and seems to open avenues for some. Do have a look at some of the communication Apps also. They tend to be visual and offer a more multi-sensory approach to communication.

Wish you luck

Coogy

Hi. is it the journey to nursery and/or the nursery itself which upsets him?  Does he get enough support there + are they autism aware,well trained in the condition etc?  How is he when you leave him there?  He may have sensory issues : certain noises, tastes, textures, smells, etc which may upset him.  If he's ok most of the time then there must be something causing the outbursts which needs to be identified.  His distress sounds severe + causes trauma for both of you so take a step back + look at all the components from the start of his day all the way thru to coming home again.  Is he ok on the way home?  Sorry for all the questions but if things can be unpicked then you may not need another buggy - I'm presuming the buggy's there to contain him + not because he has mobility problems.  Please let us know how you get on.