Help - Concerned Parent Needs YOUR advice

Hi,

Firstly, thanks in advance for reading the following brain dump. I've never posted on ANY aspie forums before, but I really need some advice on my son's education, both specifically, but also generally...

My middle son Riley has a diagnosis of Aspergers, he's 7 now and he was diagnosed at 5 (no shock). He currently attends the same regular primary school as his older brother and younger sister. He is slightly above average intelligence-wise (based on testing at time of diagnosis) but at school, he's falling behind and is now BELOW the expected level for his age. He is having all of the expected problems of someone with his diagnosis (inability to learn in a noisy, chaoctic environment - as well as social issues, hitting, biting, using 'inappropriate hand gestures' - the latest!)

The school do what they can. In reception and year one, he managed to muddle through. However, the more structured the school day gets, the more he falls behind.  We have been meeting with his teachers regularly throughout and agreeing IBPs and IEPs, but instead of overcoming his problems, he's just adding new ones to the list.

During a visit to an NHS child psychologist about a year ago, we were encouraged to push for him to be statemented so that he would be entitled to extra help, but when we approached the school, they were against it. The process is lengthy and causes the school a lot of administrative and financial effort. Also, they have to agree that they cannot fulfill his educational needs (what school wants to admit that?).

Riley has started to say he doesn't want to go to school anymore, he's having numerous meltdowns a day and spends a lot of his schooltime on his own in the cloakrooms. He's 7! That's not good. He's also worse at home, but that might just be because he's getting older and his world is expanding.

There is an NAS 'free' school just arond the corner from us, but we cannot even consider it unless Riley gets his 'statement'. 

Is there anyone who has been in a similar situation to this? I don't know whether I'm being too pushy or not pushy enough. Should I just sit back and watch him get further and further behind his peers, education-wise, rather than rock the boat and cause the school difficulties? Do I just accept that he will do poorly academically wherever he goes to school and hope it doesn't have a profound effect on his quality of life in the future?

What is the 'right' thing to do? Did you have to push for a statement? has your kid's school been a help or a hindrance? Any advice, or experience would be truly, deeply appreciated.

Thanks

Parents
  • Hello  Fransolo,

      Please don't be fobbed off by the Schools lack of interest. The likelyhood for your sons escalating behaviour is not probably due to the structure as he moves up the academic ladder, but as much to do with the fact that his needs are clearly not being met.

    As a parent, you are entittled to apply for a Statement yourself. The links below will help you, even down to model letters, to help you apply for an assessment of your sons needs. https://www.ipsea.org.uk/home

    Model letter

    www.ipsea.org.uk/.../model-letter-1

    Please submit this as soon as you can. The process can be long and it's important if your child is at School refusal to do it now, in order to get the support you need for them.

    IPSEA also have a helpline for you to speak with someone in person.

    The right support can make all the difference. It has with one of my sons and like you, we were fobbed off. My other son was not so lucky. 

    Good Luck

    Coogybear

Reply
  • Hello  Fransolo,

      Please don't be fobbed off by the Schools lack of interest. The likelyhood for your sons escalating behaviour is not probably due to the structure as he moves up the academic ladder, but as much to do with the fact that his needs are clearly not being met.

    As a parent, you are entittled to apply for a Statement yourself. The links below will help you, even down to model letters, to help you apply for an assessment of your sons needs. https://www.ipsea.org.uk/home

    Model letter

    www.ipsea.org.uk/.../model-letter-1

    Please submit this as soon as you can. The process can be long and it's important if your child is at School refusal to do it now, in order to get the support you need for them.

    IPSEA also have a helpline for you to speak with someone in person.

    The right support can make all the difference. It has with one of my sons and like you, we were fobbed off. My other son was not so lucky. 

    Good Luck

    Coogybear

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