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In England, the Equality Act has replaced the diability act.

www.autism.org.uk/.../What-the-law-says-about-disability-equality.aspx

A diagnosis does not exactly mean that you are disabled but a doctor making a diagnosis may say that, in his opinion, the patient is subject to the equality act due to the impact of the condition. So, technically you can have a diagnosis but not be disabled. As I understand it this is not a common situation and doctors generally refrain from diagnosing people unless they consider that the patient is disabled.

I ended up with a doctors opinion that I had ASD and then an occupational health doctor stated that, in his opinion, my condition was such that I was likely to be protected by the provisions of the equality act. On the basis of that, I was able to demand "reasonable adjustments".

Just a thought.

Our eldest son struggled with dyslexia issues and was given a test to see if he could get extra time etc in exams. He actually tried hard in the test for this and therefore was refused extra time.

Our youngest, who also had bad writing skills but who has always been more cunning, knew that he should try and fail the test and therefore successfully gained extra time by doing really badly in the test.

It may be that your son tried his hardest to show how good he is rather than playing the game and not trying very hard at the relevant moment when he was being tested.

People with ASD often are sometimes too honest for their own good.

NAS18906 said:

Schools are often very willing to get extra time and assistance for exams as this helps the school get good results. I am surprised that you are finding it so hard to communicate with them (perhaps that's a clue?)

Schools can also be strongly opposed to acknowledging autism and providing appropriate support (for budget and less understandable reasons) Plenty of threads cover this conflict

I think it is good to try and keep it positive and try and work with the school rather than battling against them. Easier said than done maybe?

A school of that size should have proper facilities for ASD children as they are likely to have a few others unless there is another school that with special facilities in the vicinity.

If you husband has as much ASD as your son then he will likely be resistant to being told that. I never appreciated being told that I had problems, I always thought it was someone else but then it turned out that I was the one that got the diagnosis! Obstinacy is part of the condition.

Bullying is a common problem and has been much discussed on the forum. your son needs to learn some strategies to reduce this and the school need to deal with it from their side too by supporting your son and dealing with the bullies. It has to be dealt with from both sides as your son's behaviour and reactions will encourage them and their stupidity and lack of insight will latch on to your son's differences. It takes two to create the bullying situation. It is not your son's responsibility to fix it though, that responsibility lies firmly with the school while he is in their care.

Hi Dreamer,

I'm going to raise a question that may cause offence and may be off target so I will apologise up front if I have a wrong impression.

Have you considered whether you or your husband are on the spectrum? I survived 56 years without working it out but in retrospect I have experienced issues with it all of my life. For me, there have been many instances of conflict and misunderstandings and situations where I failed to get other people to do what I want or where I have failed to do what pther people normally do.

There is a free test at aspergerstest.net/.../ that gives a good indication of whether someone is on the spectrum.

The thing that prompted my question is that I feel that you are struggling to work with your son's school and that there is a battle going on over things that shouldn't be so hard.

Schools are often very willing to get extra time and assistance for exams as this helps the school get good results. I am surprised that you are finding it so hard to communicate with them (perhaps that's a clue?)

I personally have benefited enormously from diagnosis so I don't regard it to be a bad thing to be on the spectrum and hope I haven't offended with this suggestion.