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So I finally face my demons, HELP!

Deano bambino

Hi there,

I am a father of an 8 year old autistic child whom my wife deals with fantastically but well if I'm honest I increasingly struggle to manage with this child's behaviour and what seem continual meltdowns and his simply unreasonable understanding and communication when going through these episodes, we have two thee children who cope really well considering the level of attention that our autistic son demands from both of us.

I work extremely long and stressful hours and occupy a very high level managerial role within the construction industry, I fear that what is going on at home is affecting my work in numerous ways, stressing about my son, lack of sleep after late night meltdowns and early starts as well as the strains it is applying to my marriage.

I am not writting this in the hope that pity or sorrow are shown but in an effort to reach other fathers who find themselves in this position or can offer some guidance, I am increasingly self aware that I need to make the effort to understand my son and his situation and would like some guidance on how it may be possible to get!

hope the above is clear and I have not bored you all!

Parents
  • Former Member
    Former Member

    My previous response to this thread was written in anger and frustration and, was probably pointless and did not achieve much.

    He is only 8 years old and has autism. You cannot reasonably expect him to be reasonable and good at communicating. He will be frustrated and angry at his failure to make himself understood and at the failure of the workld to be reasonable back to him. You have to be patient and you have to struggle to understand him and you have to try harder to help him understand you. You are the adult and you are the one with the power over the situation - he is unable to fix the situation himself.

    I write this from the perspective of a father and a person who was lately diagnosed with ASD. I can see different sides to this and you have to do some serious learning to catch up with your wife who probably has better emotional intelligence than you.There is a gender difference in this - women are often better at this sort of thing.

    I have also managed people. I expect that you have come across difficult people who you didn't understand? Some of these people were probably on the spectrum but they probably failed to communicate and be reasonable with you? Does that ring any bells?

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  • Former Member
    Former Member

    My previous response to this thread was written in anger and frustration and, was probably pointless and did not achieve much.

    He is only 8 years old and has autism. You cannot reasonably expect him to be reasonable and good at communicating. He will be frustrated and angry at his failure to make himself understood and at the failure of the workld to be reasonable back to him. You have to be patient and you have to struggle to understand him and you have to try harder to help him understand you. You are the adult and you are the one with the power over the situation - he is unable to fix the situation himself.

    I write this from the perspective of a father and a person who was lately diagnosed with ASD. I can see different sides to this and you have to do some serious learning to catch up with your wife who probably has better emotional intelligence than you.There is a gender difference in this - women are often better at this sort of thing.

    I have also managed people. I expect that you have come across difficult people who you didn't understand? Some of these people were probably on the spectrum but they probably failed to communicate and be reasonable with you? Does that ring any bells?

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