Coping at university - AS son aged 23

I am interested to hear from others about supporting sons/daughters through university.

My son finds the stress of his current (highly academic course/university) too demanding but does not want to change to a less prestigeous university/less demanding course.  He finds it very difficult to focus on the reality of his experiences, and think about changing plans in order to be more likely to succeed.  He has had mentoring help at university but when the chips are down he does not turn up for the mentoring or study support, nor answer the phone or reply to txts from us, his parents. 

He has successfully completed five terms' work over a period of 15 terms, with long periods out due to depression or for breaks as he was behind with the work and not able to cope at the expected level, even with various allowances made.

It is difficult to put the right package of support in place (ie a foolproof one!).

We would like him to transfer to a university that he could attend while living at home, so that we could help him keep in the rails: get up & go to bed at a reasonable time, get to lectures/seminars (or at least not miss them as he had over slepty/not left his room, write the essays, eat, wash, socialise, keep an eye on his mental health/taking medication etc. 

Does anyone else have thoughts, tips or relevant experience?

Parents
  • Hi Longman.  I don't think including dyspraxia is a mistake.  Even taken at it's narrowest definition handwriting is a problem: I have very poor handwriting.  I have to write slowly for it to be readable (sometimes I can't read my own...) which is a problem when taking notes or if I had to hand-write in an exam. No support back when I was at school, but these days I believe dyspraxics can get support such as using a laptop, tape recording, having a scribe or extra time.

    Dyspraxia is also usually considered to include associated problems (many of which overlap with autism...) including organisation (of self, speech, written work...), social problems, sensory problems etc.  Here's a link to a list:

    http://www.dyspraxiafoundation.org.uk/dyspraxia-adults/

Reply
  • Hi Longman.  I don't think including dyspraxia is a mistake.  Even taken at it's narrowest definition handwriting is a problem: I have very poor handwriting.  I have to write slowly for it to be readable (sometimes I can't read my own...) which is a problem when taking notes or if I had to hand-write in an exam. No support back when I was at school, but these days I believe dyspraxics can get support such as using a laptop, tape recording, having a scribe or extra time.

    Dyspraxia is also usually considered to include associated problems (many of which overlap with autism...) including organisation (of self, speech, written work...), social problems, sensory problems etc.  Here's a link to a list:

    http://www.dyspraxiafoundation.org.uk/dyspraxia-adults/

Children
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