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Coping at university - AS son aged 23

Eve

I am interested to hear from others about supporting sons/daughters through university.

My son finds the stress of his current (highly academic course/university) too demanding but does not want to change to a less prestigeous university/less demanding course.  He finds it very difficult to focus on the reality of his experiences, and think about changing plans in order to be more likely to succeed.  He has had mentoring help at university but when the chips are down he does not turn up for the mentoring or study support, nor answer the phone or reply to txts from us, his parents. 

He has successfully completed five terms' work over a period of 15 terms, with long periods out due to depression or for breaks as he was behind with the work and not able to cope at the expected level, even with various allowances made.

It is difficult to put the right package of support in place (ie a foolproof one!).

We would like him to transfer to a university that he could attend while living at home, so that we could help him keep in the rails: get up & go to bed at a reasonable time, get to lectures/seminars (or at least not miss them as he had over slepty/not left his room, write the essays, eat, wash, socialise, keep an eye on his mental health/taking medication etc. 

Does anyone else have thoughts, tips or relevant experience?

Parents

  • Oxford and Cambridge try to attract the top undergraduates. It is about exclusivity.

    Neither seems to have anything obvious on their websites about disability support, it may be nested in there somewhere, but it looks hard to search for.

    Both have "accessibility" on their home page. For Cambridge this is just about how to get the best out of the website design. For Oxford this is all about getting the best students. I suspect they don't want disabled students spoiling their "excellence" image.

    This is reminiscent of the public school situation - until recently it was being reported the Cabinet was mostly made up of Eton boys. Eton boasts that, while they have provision, they have very few pupils needing to make use of it. Disabled Access on their website is about visitors.

    Privilege is still a bastion of this country's governance and senior postings, shored up by ridiculously high salaries, compensation pay-outs if dismissed for wrong doing, and huge bonuses.

    But when it comes to the disabled getting benefits or financial support for living they are the ones shouting for draconian measures to deny access to benefits. Probably they have no real direct contact with disabled people.

    I suspect Oxford and Cambridge Universities don't want disabled students, and won't go out of their way to help.

Reply

  • Oxford and Cambridge try to attract the top undergraduates. It is about exclusivity.

    Neither seems to have anything obvious on their websites about disability support, it may be nested in there somewhere, but it looks hard to search for.

    Both have "accessibility" on their home page. For Cambridge this is just about how to get the best out of the website design. For Oxford this is all about getting the best students. I suspect they don't want disabled students spoiling their "excellence" image.

    This is reminiscent of the public school situation - until recently it was being reported the Cabinet was mostly made up of Eton boys. Eton boasts that, while they have provision, they have very few pupils needing to make use of it. Disabled Access on their website is about visitors.

    Privilege is still a bastion of this country's governance and senior postings, shored up by ridiculously high salaries, compensation pay-outs if dismissed for wrong doing, and huge bonuses.

    But when it comes to the disabled getting benefits or financial support for living they are the ones shouting for draconian measures to deny access to benefits. Probably they have no real direct contact with disabled people.

    I suspect Oxford and Cambridge Universities don't want disabled students, and won't go out of their way to help.

Children
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