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Can't cope

MummyBH

Hi,

My husband and I have a 9 year old son and I am unable to cope with him. He has medium ASD (Asperger's) among many other borderline conditions.

I need some support with how to manage it all.

I have two other children, who are younger than him, who have their own issues as well.

I am feeling very lonely and out of control. Any words of wisdom appreciated.

Thank you x

  • And yeah I am here if you need to vent I am really looking for something like that myself. I feel bad talking about it to other ppl as its the only thing I talk about it I know no one wants to listnen if they dont understand

  • Hi there I dont have much advice but just wanted to say i know how you feel. I am sitting now in front of computer thinking i might find something of any help... I am lost

    I have a 4 year old with possible autism but still waiting for him to be seen. I havnt got much strenght left I dont know how to cope anymore. We used to have a very strong bond but lately i struggle to find any positives about him witch in turn leaves me feeling more guilty. I love him no doubt about that but I am eally strugling to like himFrown

  • Hi again.  Thanks for replying Smile.  I can understand why you find things emotionally draining, esp if you were an extrovert + enjoyed being out + about meeting other people.  It's a big change.  When you say it "leaves me cold just thinking about having to leave the house", etc, do you know why that is.  Would you feel the same way if you had some support, such as respite care, so that you could have a bit of time to yourself?  My son repeats.  He always had.  I wouldn't stop your son repeating because it's something he probably enjoys, but what I did was draw a line.  If my son had repeated something 3 or 4 times then I wd say "you're repeating"," no more repeating for a bit". He'd laugh + think of something else to say.  How much support do you have from family, friends, other services such as Drs, social work etc?  This can make a big difference. 

  • Hi, thank you for your reply.  My child is 9, he is adopted and had head injuries as a baby.  His brother and sister are full siblings, but were not physically abused, so far as we know.  He has lots of borderline issues, such as hypermobility in his joints, weak muscle tone, over-compliance, an indiscriminate attachment, high pain threshold.  These, combined with his ASD make it difficult to to parent him.

    1. One of my concerns is with repetative behaviour.  Should he be able to repeat himself, or should we be trying to help him understand that the things he does can sometimes not be the right thing to do at the time?

    2. I have a hard time balancing how he is with what society will find accepatble as he grows up.  I sometimes feel I am getting no-where with him, but I also know that some of his behaviours will never change.

    3. It all gets too emotionally draining and I have had to give up work and effectively become a recluse.  If it wasnt for the school run and managing the kids' social lives , I wouldnt have any reason to leave the house.  This bothers me immensely because I was always a social butterfly and now it leaves me cold just thinking about having to leave the house (except for what the kids need).

    I just want an online place to vent really!

  • Hi MummyBH - welcome Smile.  Could you give us some more detail about your child/family so that posters can reply in a more precise way to be of help+ support to you?  Lots of info from posters + also via the home pg, inc support groups, services etc.  You are not alone now.