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Shunning comfort when hurt/upset

NinjaMouse

I have a little girl who is four next month and we are currently awaiting an assessment for ASD.

The only behaviour that I struggle with, is when she has hurt herself or is upset.  She used to be extremely cuddly and clingy when hurt.  But for the last 9-12 months she completely shuns all attempts to comfort her or see if she is alright.  You can not even talk to her, she just screams 'No' at you and pushes you away.  On one occasion, she was hurt quite badly and I had to just stand with her for over 15 minutes until she calmed down, as she wouldn't let me examine her, talk to her or take her home.

Does anyone have any advice that might help her?

 

Parents

  • the thing is, when we are injured, or frightened or suffering sensory stuff, we "work" in our heads to bring the issue to managabiliy. having to interact with someone else, no matter how well meaning, distracts from this. It is best to loiter some few yards away, body positioned at 45 degrees so as to offer assistance by your presence without active intrusion. Let him/her yell, kick the floor etc untill they kinda calm then ask if theyre ok. at this point they may tell you what you could do to help (in my case often after a "what the f*** do you think? I broke my ??? get me a towel!"). The timing here is important but you will learn to recognise the moment, but as a guide its after the args and ows turn to expletives.

    I even occasionally apologise for the outburst

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  • the thing is, when we are injured, or frightened or suffering sensory stuff, we "work" in our heads to bring the issue to managabiliy. having to interact with someone else, no matter how well meaning, distracts from this. It is best to loiter some few yards away, body positioned at 45 degrees so as to offer assistance by your presence without active intrusion. Let him/her yell, kick the floor etc untill they kinda calm then ask if theyre ok. at this point they may tell you what you could do to help (in my case often after a "what the f*** do you think? I broke my ??? get me a towel!"). The timing here is important but you will learn to recognise the moment, but as a guide its after the args and ows turn to expletives.

    I even occasionally apologise for the outburst

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