Shunning comfort when hurt/upset

Hi, yes it can be so difficult when you instinctively want to comfort someone + they don't want it.  But as mumof4boys772 says, it's not unusual with our children.  Apart from the obvious, such as trying to avert a meltdown by recognising the signs before it happens and/or avoiding situations where it's likely to happen, I think it's sometimes difficult to know what to do for the best.  Obviously if a child is in danger of hurting themselves or others in some way, then that needs to be guarded against if possible.  When things have settled down, depending on the child, it may be worth talking about what happened in a non-judgemental, calm, relaxed way.   However this wdn't work for some children + you know your child better than we do.  It can be quite complicated to identify all the triggers than can cause distress, anxiety, or a meltdown. Changes from routine, sensory issues such as taste, texture, light, noise, smell.  Sensory overload.  Not all can be avoided or ameliorated, but where possible it's best to take action.  If your child can find something that helps her to self-soothe then that would be a help.  Is there something she finds soothing that could be supplied to her when she starts to get anxious or upset?   Maybe something within easy reach, maybe some "magic reassuring words".  Some of our children appreciate the weighted blankets, vests, etc.  If you are thinking about trying these then see if you can borrow 1 from an OT or similar as they are expensive to buy + your child may not take to them.  School can be a big trigger for anxiety + meltdowns, even if the child appears to be coping well whilst there.  Does your child go to mainstream?  If so, what provision to they make for her? 

Hi, yes it can be so difficult when you instinctively want to comfort someone + they don't want it.  But as mumof4boys772 says, it's not unusual with our children.  Apart from the obvious, such as trying to avert a meltdown by recognising the signs before it happens and/or avoiding situations where it's likely to happen, I think it's sometimes difficult to know what to do for the best.  Obviously if a child is in danger of hurting themselves or others in some way, then that needs to be guarded against if possible.  When things have settled down, depending on the child, it may be worth talking about what happened in a non-judgemental, calm, relaxed way.   However this wdn't work for some children + you know your child better than we do.  It can be quite complicated to identify all the triggers than can cause distress, anxiety, or a meltdown. Changes from routine, sensory issues such as taste, texture, light, noise, smell.  Sensory overload.  Not all can be avoided or ameliorated, but where possible it's best to take action.  If your child can find something that helps her to self-soothe then that would be a help.  Is there something she finds soothing that could be supplied to her when she starts to get anxious or upset?   Maybe something within easy reach, maybe some "magic reassuring words".  Some of our children appreciate the weighted blankets, vests, etc.  If you are thinking about trying these then see if you can borrow 1 from an OT or similar as they are expensive to buy + your child may not take to them.  School can be a big trigger for anxiety + meltdowns, even if the child appears to be coping well whilst there.  Does your child go to mainstream?  If so, what provision to they make for her?