Help. Need Advice please.

Hi


I'm mailing on behalf of my son, who is a first year undergraduate student at University. He has a diagnosis of Aspergers Syndrome, dyslexia and dyspraxia and receives DLA and DSA. He is aware of this mail.

The academic support from the University itself has been very good - better than experiences with schools had led us to expect. He has a 2 support workers, a named contact in student wellbeing, support software (recording equipment for lectures etc) and his College (the Business School) has been generally supportive. He is enjoying his studies and even regularly attends several student societies.

The only serious problem he has is with his accommodation, provided by private student accommodation suppliers who provide a large accommodation complex next door to the Business School. They placed him a student flat with 5 other students and facing towards the Central Courtyard.

They were informed at least twice in writing and at least twice during phone calls about my son’s condition before he signed their contract. They have failed to make any adjustments to allow him to fully access the services provided - even ignoring his stated preferences for a smaller flat (max. 3 other students) and a room facing away from the central courtyard (as he is very sensitive to ambient noise). We have subsequently found out that he is not the first Aspergers student to have problems at the current accommodation. They haven't anticipated or implemented any adjustments to help students with my son’s disabilities.

For example, even though there were locks fitted to the 6 kitchen cupboards they didn't issue keys and when the other students "took his cupboard, fridge and freezer space" his condition meant that he wouldn't 'stand up for himself' and ended up trying to store his kitchen equipment and food in half the cupboard under the sink and with no space in the fridge/freezer (except the ice cube tray). When his flatmates told him to 'be quiet' (we overheard one of them knocking on his door telling him to be quiet when he was simply making a phone call to us at about 10pm) he started whispering in his room at all times.

These along with other similar incidents have led to tension with his flatmates resulting in him refusing to use the kitchen, flush his toilet or interact with the others in his flat. There is now no chance of re-integrating him into his current accommodation.

His support worker has approached his current accommodation to see if there is a possibility of moving within the accommodation but they have said there is not. The University Accommodation office has found him a studio flat that he could move to but it is with a different accommodation provider. He has been told that his current accommodation provider will hold him to his contract and that he can only move if he re-lets his current accommodation otherwise he will be liable for rent on both rooms.

Does he have grounds to cancel/leave his contract with his current accommodation provider and how would he need to go about it?

Without moving we are sure he will give up his course and leave the University. He intends to hand back his keys on 18th December (when the current term ends). He won't return to the flat after that (and there seems to be very little we can do to change his mind).

If he has his alternative accommodation in place by or near the start of term in January, he will go back (we can help him commute from home in the short term only - we live in a rural location approx. 35 miles from the University with very poor public transport links). This gives us a potential timeframe to the end of January to sort the accommodation. If there's a realistic chance of getting the contract cancelled we would advise him to default on the January payment of his current accommodation provider contract and take the studio flat.

Could you please advise us/him on what we should do?

Parents
  • Former Member
    Former Member

    longman said:

    It is wrong to suggest it is Max's son's fault, and it is down to him to sort it. Just as it is quite wrong to keep suggesting on here that parents' difficulties advocating for their children might be because there's a history of autism in the family, and the difficulty might be because they are at fault. That's not helping people with autism.

    I am sorry if people have misunderstood what I was trying to say. I have not suggested that this is the son's fault. I raised the question of bullying and in my mind that suggests that I do not think that it is the victim's fault.

    On the subject of the family history of autism. I think it is massively useful to understand the family history and circumstances when looking at an individual.

    In both cases I am much more interested in explanations rather than excuses or laying blame. Explanations lead to solutions that can be made to work. Excuses and blame lead to recrimination, antagonism, strife and stress.

    In the current case, it seems to me that the person best placed to make changes is the victim. He is a victim but he is not powerless. He is the wronged party but he also has a voice. It seems to me that it would be awful to carry on being a victim for the rest of his life when there are ways and means of learning better approaches to situations.

Reply
  • Former Member
    Former Member

    longman said:

    It is wrong to suggest it is Max's son's fault, and it is down to him to sort it. Just as it is quite wrong to keep suggesting on here that parents' difficulties advocating for their children might be because there's a history of autism in the family, and the difficulty might be because they are at fault. That's not helping people with autism.

    I am sorry if people have misunderstood what I was trying to say. I have not suggested that this is the son's fault. I raised the question of bullying and in my mind that suggests that I do not think that it is the victim's fault.

    On the subject of the family history of autism. I think it is massively useful to understand the family history and circumstances when looking at an individual.

    In both cases I am much more interested in explanations rather than excuses or laying blame. Explanations lead to solutions that can be made to work. Excuses and blame lead to recrimination, antagonism, strife and stress.

    In the current case, it seems to me that the person best placed to make changes is the victim. He is a victim but he is not powerless. He is the wronged party but he also has a voice. It seems to me that it would be awful to carry on being a victim for the rest of his life when there are ways and means of learning better approaches to situations.

Children
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