motivation

Hi Bootsy,

Think this may be a common problem for most 14 year olds!

One idea I thought of is to try really hard to praise every positive thing that he does no matter how small and ridiculous it seems.  My 17 year old has similar problems with low confidence and self esteem.  Praise should be descriptive as possible for example, "I thought what you said to your sister was really kind. You made her very happy when you said you liked her new dress". My son seems to take in written comments more, say a text or an email or even a letter to him. It may also help to give him plenty of reason to receive possible feedback like asking him to make a cup of tea for example.

His reading and writing sound wonderful.  If he finds it hard to concentrate for long periods perhaps he could set himself very small amounts of time to do write at first and if he gives you an opportunity to read what he has written then that also gives you plenty of chance to pile on the positive comments. As he builds on his concentration skills maybe he will be able to make the sessions longer in time. Taking very small steps at first may make a difference. Would he consider writing short entries in a diary every day maybe to start with?

It was suggested to us that we challenge every single negative thing our son said or wrote about himself. It can also really help to be generally as positive as you can about everything.  They do say that someone who suffers with anxiety or depression should always surround themselves with positive people as it can rub off! I give myself some time off to be extremely negative about things when my son is not around!!  Usually in the car when I'm on my own or out for a walk with the dog. Being positive and cheerful all the time can be exhausting so it is great to have an hour off from time to time when you can!

Hope this helps in some way. 

Hi Bootsy,

Think this may be a common problem for most 14 year olds!

One idea I thought of is to try really hard to praise every positive thing that he does no matter how small and ridiculous it seems.  My 17 year old has similar problems with low confidence and self esteem.  Praise should be descriptive as possible for example, "I thought what you said to your sister was really kind. You made her very happy when you said you liked her new dress". My son seems to take in written comments more, say a text or an email or even a letter to him. It may also help to give him plenty of reason to receive possible feedback like asking him to make a cup of tea for example.

His reading and writing sound wonderful.  If he finds it hard to concentrate for long periods perhaps he could set himself very small amounts of time to do write at first and if he gives you an opportunity to read what he has written then that also gives you plenty of chance to pile on the positive comments. As he builds on his concentration skills maybe he will be able to make the sessions longer in time. Taking very small steps at first may make a difference. Would he consider writing short entries in a diary every day maybe to start with?

It was suggested to us that we challenge every single negative thing our son said or wrote about himself. It can also really help to be generally as positive as you can about everything.  They do say that someone who suffers with anxiety or depression should always surround themselves with positive people as it can rub off! I give myself some time off to be extremely negative about things when my son is not around!!  Usually in the car when I'm on my own or out for a walk with the dog. Being positive and cheerful all the time can be exhausting so it is great to have an hour off from time to time when you can!

Hope this helps in some way.