Firstly this post comes with a disclaimer - my intention is not to offend anyone, but I might do, for which I am sorry. I dont really have any other place to ask this question.
Our son, although not yet formally diagnosed, is receiving support for a presumed autism diagnosis. We are pretty much just making plans for him and the actual diagnosis seems pretty much a formality now.
We always talked about having another child after our son - we are both older so we knew it would need to be soon. Now that we know we are on the path to a diagnosis for him the topic has obviously come up again.
My husband is still keen to have another child. He points out that although there is every chance that another child might also be on the spectrum, there is every chance that they may not. He thinks our son would benefit from having a sibling around who would also hopefully be a friend to him when we are gone.
I am scared that our little ones behaviour will change. He is currently placid, flexible, very easy going - in fact he is wonderful around babies - runs up to give them their dummy back or stroke them if they are crying. I fear that is going to change at some point down the line and that I may not cope if I have two children with special needs. Our marriage has already started to show signs of strain.
I'm also afraid of depriving him of attention if he might need it as he gets older, but the thought of no more children fills me with a renewed grief that I didnt expect.
Is there anyone here who has wrestled with this decision? What did you decide? How did you decide? Is there anyone who can tell me if we are likely to have another child on the spectrum so we could make this decision consciously?
Thanks.
