• Replies 7 replies
  • Subscribers 66 subscribers
  • Views 158 views
  • Users 3 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

Refusing to claim benefits

Corky

I am a mum to a 39 year old autistic boy. My son suffers awful social anxiety and hardly leaves the house. He was diagnosed with autism last year. He has been unsuccessful in the workplace and is not working at present. He refuses to claim benefits and so relies on his Mum and Dad looking after him.

Does anyone else have this problem with their adult child?

Many thanks xxx

Parents

  • Hello, I have the same situation too with my son who is soon to be 37. He was diagnosed when he was 13 ( plus ADHD ) but had lots of problems in education and socially.  It is a huge worry and it’s really hard knowing what to do or how to help. I am hoping to be able to persuade him to go to a charity to get independent advice regarding benefits as I think if someone else advises him rather than mum or dad, he might possibly listen. I am also contemplating the services of a life coach if he is open to that, but so far hasn’t been. I do totally understand your worries and wish I could suggest something to help but I am at a loss too. Maybe others here could offer possible suggestions for us both to explore. 

  • in reply to NAS36756

    Thank you so much for your reply. Sometimes it’s just good to know that it’s not just you going through this. It’s so hard isn’t it? We are both now in our late 60s and do worry what the future will be for our son after we have gone. Sending lots of love to you and your family xxx

  • in reply to Corky

    Yes it’s good to know you are not alone. We too are older parents.

    I’m also thinking of setting up a disabled persons trust to help provide for the future when we are not here ( a friend has set this up via a solicitor recommended by Mencap)  That way if they do go onto benefits any money they have or property over £6000 won’t be included as their capital and risk having their benefits reduced or stopped. 

    If your son does not already receive Personalised Independent Payments ( PIP) , its worth exploring applying for that as it’s not means tested and does provide a  very small income.  it’s not based on work either so there’s no need to prove your son  is looking for work. 

    There is a brilliant website called Benefits and Works which explains about the benefits and give a guides as to eligibility and how to claim - https://benefitsandwork.co.uk/

    with love and hugs x

  • in reply to Corky

    You’re not ranting, just saying how it is. You love your son very much and provide a caring loving home and a safe space for him, which is wonderful. I too have been told I’ve been too soft or not done enough or done too much etc etc. which is pretty hurtful. At the end of the day all we really want is for our sons to be happy xx

Reply
  • in reply to Corky

    You’re not ranting, just saying how it is. You love your son very much and provide a caring loving home and a safe space for him, which is wonderful. I too have been told I’ve been too soft or not done enough or done too much etc etc. which is pretty hurtful. At the end of the day all we really want is for our sons to be happy xx

Children
No Data