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Should we tell our teen she could be autistic

Late discovered mum

I’m autistic, diagnosed in my late 40s, and think our two teen daughters might also be autistic. They struggle with anxiety, have really struggled starting secondary school, sensory issues, just like to be at home… the signs are obvious to me and they know I am autistic. It seems like a no brainer that I should raise with them that their struggles could be because they too could be autistic.

However, I’m worried that this might make them feel worse about themselves, when they’re already suffering with really low self esteem. They are teenage girls after all, so many go through that anyway, now magnified by social media. 

I would love to hear about your experience of this and specifically any negative outcomes. I can see all the positives. I’m worried about the negatives and whether you have experience of discussing this with your teen having a negative effect. 

Parents

  • Hi Late discovered mum,

    I do not have children so cannot offer advice from that perspective, but I was just diagnosed at 41, and essentially just found out my parents knew but never discussed it with me or arranged any support. Looking back I would have really appreciated a conversation as it would have helped with me understanding why I struggled with some things and maybe meant I did not give myself such a hard time. 

    Also you sound like you just want to support them however you can which is great as not everyone has that growing up. I would say you know your children best and if you think an open conversation about the signs you have noticed would benefit them, go for it as they have you in their corner to help deal with anything that comes from it. 

    Hope that is of some help

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  • Hi Late discovered mum,

    I do not have children so cannot offer advice from that perspective, but I was just diagnosed at 41, and essentially just found out my parents knew but never discussed it with me or arranged any support. Looking back I would have really appreciated a conversation as it would have helped with me understanding why I struggled with some things and maybe meant I did not give myself such a hard time. 

    Also you sound like you just want to support them however you can which is great as not everyone has that growing up. I would say you know your children best and if you think an open conversation about the signs you have noticed would benefit them, go for it as they have you in their corner to help deal with anything that comes from it. 

    Hope that is of some help

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