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Hitting & separation anxiety

Charly1991

Good evening, im looking for advice on hitting. My son 4.5 years old due to start school in September. He is very attached to his dad & when his dad leaves a room will hit & kick me, we have tried the naughty step, being calm explaining we dont hit & gentle hands. We have books we read at night about gentle hands also but he is getting him self so distressed nearly making himself sick at times. 

Parents

  • I'm not sure to suggest but I hope my story can bring some reassurance that things could get better 

    I was similar but I wanted to be around my mum (does he by any chance have more bonding time with dad when he was younger) I feel bad about it now even though autisim explains it but even silly things like me and my sibling having the same toy and I'd. Get upset if my dad set mine up and I mean incrollabky upset. 

    I mostly got over this by the time I was in full time education but regrettably a couple of times during a fight or flight moment as a young adult I did hit my dad but the instant regret set in and in fact I felt sad about it 

    Talking about it over and over may work eventually but always remember with autisim not to use any absolutes that can be taken too litterly 

    As a random example if you were to say to an autistic person oh there's John again he's so lazy he needs to get a job it may be taken as people who are unemployed are lazy(I know it's not applicable to the situation but it's all I could think of) and you probably already know that anyway. 

    Are there perhaps aby books about the diffent roles mums and dads play in a child's day? Perhaps seeing that both parents have diffrent roles might bring some devolipnebt? Just a thought along the line sof you said about bedtime stories. 

  • in reply to Thpsguy

    Hi, thank you for your reply. his dad works very different patterns & sometimes works away from a couple of day to a week long. We have brought some new bed time books about emotions & every time his dad goes to leave a room telling him & going for short periods at a time. 

  • in reply to Charly1991

    There is that may be of help(maybe read it to your self first to see if it will be too upsetting?) called my daddy works away from home 

    From my heart expriance as both a dad of an autistic child and havibg autisim my self know that autistic people often find stories a great way to process things plus kids books are so comforting my son loved the David Williams books growing up and my daughter currently loves spot the dog books 

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  • in reply to Charly1991

    There is that may be of help(maybe read it to your self first to see if it will be too upsetting?) called my daddy works away from home 

    From my heart expriance as both a dad of an autistic child and havibg autisim my self know that autistic people often find stories a great way to process things plus kids books are so comforting my son loved the David Williams books growing up and my daughter currently loves spot the dog books 

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